Head Cheese 

The man who killed hippie rock, who reinvented the teen anthem, who took glitter rock Top 40, who made fans of Dylan and Nilsson, and who’s wrestled with more demons than Shane MacGowan, still does, um, killer tour business. And he continues to release a laudable new album every couple years. Sure, he’s been copped to death — from Kiss to Slipnot — but how does it make sense that he’s continually snubbed by the asscracks at the Rock ’n’ Roll Hall of Fame? Well, what you should know is the Detroit hometowner’s latest, Dirty Diamonds, finds Coop and band winningly mining old Yardbirds, Stones and Left Banke mother lodes with no studio trickery and scads of patented Alice wit. The DD tour promises to punk Paris Hilton too; there’s word of a killer Chihuahua and such. What’s more, his internationally syndicated radio show is picking up steam. We reached Cooper somewhere in Australia to get his monomanias:

5. Cold Ethyl: Why don’t radio stations play songs for quality instead of “what’s next”?

4. Muscle of Love: I wonder if the Chrysler Firepower will be as cool as it’s supposed to be. Detroit needs to make a good muscle car.

3. Hell is Living Without You: Someone should invent a TV with a universal language translator. That way I could watch The Simpsons in English when I’m in Germany.

2. Desperado: How come no one on the Starship Enterprise wore seat belts?

1. You Drive Me Nervous: Why does it drive me nuts when I see a guy wearing a baseball cap sideways?


Appears Sunday, Aug. 21, at the Michigan State Fair (south of 8 Mile Road at Woodward Avenue, Detroit; 313-369-8250). His radio show, Nights with Alice Cooper, is heard weeknights from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. on WCSX-FM (94.7).

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