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Exclusive! Interface jammage! 

If you've not become acquainted as of yet with the particular joys on offer from the merry theatrical pranksters flying under the moniker Champions of Breakfast, well, as they say in the infomercials, act now! The CoBs-ers have thrown up a new, exclusive and downloadable jam on their MySpace page — "Pixelated Love Song." It's up there as a sort of tease for their upcoming full-length (athough "PLS" isn't on said slab!). Say what you will about the awesomeness of the giant cardboard instruments, outrageous mustaches and Members Only fashion antics these two ersatz Dutch transplants lay on an audience during their live shows, what really gets the fists pumping are the beats and the infectious fun that roll out of Val Hundreds and Moses Jackson. "Pixelated Love Song" is a pun-drenched dance jam extolling the virtues and pitfalls of cyber-romance. On the jam, the Champs pull off everything the Electric Six and Dan Deacon might have done had they been locked in a cement room with spotty Internet, a pile of softcore porn, a drum machine and an analog synth. To wit, the lyrics:

"I'm gonna HTTP your colon/just like an interface should"

"Put my joystick in your USB/or if you want it in your parallel port that's just fine with me."

It remains to be seen whether this represents an abandonment of the wizards and warriors side of Champions of Breakfast or merely a detour. However, this new song is focused, poppy, silly and awesome in a way that separates those who are easily embarrassed from those who make no apologies for laughing at and with a good time.


Big ups to for turning us on to the power of Hellmouth. Composed of scene vets who've done time in bands like For Dire Life Sake, Left in Ruin and, in the case of throat man Jason Navarro, the Suicide Machines. For the sake of discussion, let's take a quick peek at "Praying for Plague." (Yes, these are dudes who are familiar with the hyperdramatic, über-dark song title school of song titles. Others include "Blood of Pigs," "God's Forgotten Children" and "Blackest of Voids" — although my favorite title is easily "Overtime in a Shark Cage." Wha?)

Ok. Back to "Praying for Plague": It is, simply, two minutes of pure, aggressive thrashcore gut-punch in the vein of such recent local luminaries as Bang Bang but also recalls classic hardcore (Bad Brains precision substituting angry new millennium white dude angst for rasta righteousness, perhaps?). And Hellmouth rattles 'em off like this in breathless fury on each of their tracks. Not a tender 'roni love ballad in the bunch. It's damn fine hardcore sauce these boys are mixing and I'm thankful to the Internets for landing them in my living room. (They're also playing Small's in Hamsandwich on Saturday, June 7.)

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More by Chris Handyside

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October 21, 2020

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