Dick in a Heart-Shaped Box. 

Girls Aloud “Sound of the Underground”

Holly Valance, “State of Mind”

Britney Spears, “Oops!? I Did it Again”

Janet Jackson, “You Can Be Mine”

Alex Cartana, “Hay Papi”

Girls Aloud, “Wake Me Up”

Sugarbabes, “Red Dress”

Girls Aloud, “The Show”

Shampoo, “Delicious”

t.A.T.u., “Not Gonna Get Us”

Girls Aloud, “All I Need (All I Don’t)”

Danni Minogue, “Don’t Wanna Lose This Groove”

Bananarama, “Look on the Floor (Hypnotic Tango)”

Britney Spears, “I’m a Slave 4 U”

Sugarbabes, “Freak Like Me” - Let’s go all the way redux

Kelly Clarkson, “Miss Independent”

Rose petals, chocolate sauce, Jared, and those goddamn Vermont Teddy Bears — switch out that stuff for plastic green derbies and vaguely jingoistic Emerald Isle memorabilia that doubles as Budweiser branded merchandise, and Valentine’s Day is just a primer for the St. Patrick’s Day cringe. That’s why my mix for today celebrates music that spends a lot of money to make cringe happen in the most curvaceous way possible. Beyond superficial and beyond manufactured — but still celebrating romance, lust, sex, or eroticism in the broadest way possible — these dance-pop tracks also have all the zing money can buy, a propulsive whir lifted from disco, house, and Hi-NRG, and the underwire of 25 years of pop music history, from ABBA and Olivia Newton John to Madonna, Janet Jackson, freestyle, and the flat spin of the Spice Girls.

It’s delicious, and it’s running wild in the city late at night.

Happy Valentine’s Day.


Check the slick, fun new Sugarbabes/Girls Aloud collabo, a re-re-make of "Walk this Way."

Check Shampoo's romping 1994 clip for "Delicious," a song that was Girl Power and Paris Hilton before anyone gave a shit (or didn't give a shit) about either.


We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected].

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

More by Johnny Loftus

Read the Digital Print Issue

January 26, 2022

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In Detroit

© 2022 Detroit Metro Times - Contact Us

Website powered by Foundation