Cheat Code 

Ah, Valentine's Day, a day for lovers. Cupid unloads on your ass with heart-shaped arrows, and then it's flowers and chocolates and all that jazz. Well hoobidy-hoo-blah on that; life isn't a Twilight movie, and romance is never simple. Nine times out of ten, true romance starts with physical attraction. Some like them cute and innocent while others like them dripping with sex appeal. Well, Bayonetta, the star of Sega's newest hack and slash, is definitely the latter.Like all bad girls, Bayonetta's story is a complicated one. Having no memory before she woke up in a coffin that was buried underwater 20 years ago, our heroine kills angels to sell their halos to the damned in exchange for them not taking her. In between that, we discover that Bayonetta is a witch who's involved in the balance between heaven and hell. Take that for a messed-up childhood.

Visually, she's got curves like nobody's business, and she knows how to work 'em. Her environment isn't shabby either, with the idyllic sights of Paradiso contrasting perfectly with the chaos of Inferno. If you're going to fight angels, you better have the right weaponry. Packing two pistols, and with two more forming the heels on her boots, Bayonetta isn't wanting for firepower. While strapped, most of the combat is of the hand-to-hand variety, with an almost infinite set of combos for maximum carnage. Also, Bayonetta's witch powers allow her to use her hair, which also doubles as her cat suit, as combo attacks. In other words, the more hair you use in your combos, the less clothes she wears. This culminates in the cleverly named "maximum climax," where our sexpot finishes off larger enemies with all her hair. Subtle? Hardly. With lollipop power-ups, giant stripper poles doubling as attack posts, and often corny voiceovers, we may actually be faced with the girl who tries a little too hard to be sexy. Too bad, 'cause beneath the layers of sex appeal lies a great action game with wicked controls. That might be the point though — like any quality woman, the true value is on the inside. Bayonetta embraces her sex appeal for what it is, and pushes it to campy levels for her own enjoyment, as much as ours. Such girls are a once-in-a-lifetime experience, so don't be intimidated — she may let you take her home.

Send comments to [email protected]

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected].

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

Speaking of Cheat Code

More by Bryant Franks

Read the Digital Print Issue

January 19, 2022

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In Detroit

© 2022 Detroit Metro Times - Contact Us

Website powered by Foundation