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Cereal killer 

I found the Wheaties Breakfast of Champions Sports Trivia Game at Toys 'R' Us ($24.95), but it could easily fit right in on the shelves of the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Why? Because the game is packaged in a bright orange box that looks exactly like a cereal box. It even claims to be "made with 100 percent FUN" and suggests it’s "better if played by: any day."

Despite these stupid attempts at complete authenticity, the box does not feature the distinctive cardboard box top consisting of the male tab and female slot common to all real, sexually suggestive cereal boxes. The game itself seems to be miserably complicated; the questions are too hard or too dumb (for example, "Q: What southern baseball team is Dale Earnhardt’s favorite? A: Atlanta Braves"); the scorecards are smaller than golf scorecards, and you actually have to keep track of timed periods. And since beer drinking is essential to sports trivia, only eat these Wheaties if you can find a designated scorekeeper.

Tom A’Hearn pays attention here every other week. E-mail letters@metrotimes.com

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