Best Dive Bar, Oakland County 

Gusoline Alley

309 S. Center St., Royal Oak; 248-545-2235 

But where's their website, Metro Times? Oh, perhaps you don't fully comprehend what a dive bar is. But here's a perfect learning opportunity, which is also a good enough excuse for a shot of whiskey! See, dear reader, a real dive bar doesn't care about a freakin' website. They don't need social media friends. Thank god. You're lucky they even have a phone number. What do they have, you ask? A decent selection of brew, a jukebox that'll blow your mind, a staff that gives it to you straight, and a gang of genuine regulars. If that one guy with the missing teeth looks at you like your eyes are vomiting and your shoes stick to the bathroom floor, you know you're in the right place. 

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