Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout

It’s rare that a city gets the singular honor of hosting both the NFL’s Super Bowl and the WWE’s WrestleMania in two successive years, but that’s the impressive coup that Detroit’s managed to pull off.

And you can bet that the NFL’s inane decision to hire non-homegrown musicians won’t happen this time around. I promise — no, I guarantee — that the one thing a pro-American organization like World Wrestling Entertainment won’t do is select a bunch of foreigners like the Rolling Stones to perform the official WrestleMania 23 theme song live on April 1.

OK, so foreigner Peter Gabriel sang at WrestleMania 22 last year; maybe WWE Chairman Vince McMahon is a big Genesis fan. I dunno. But he’d be Stone Cold crazy to sign off on another choice like that given Detroit’s rich musical heritage.

Let’s not forget that Alice Cooper actually performed in the ring with Jake "The Snake" Roberts at WrestleMania III, so the Detroit-WWE rock ’n’ sock musical connection goes way back. Which isn’t to suggest that Vince should bring Alice back for a 20th anniversary ring reunion, but if Bret "The Spitman" Hart can make a triumphant return to the WWE then anyone can. So why not bring Alice back to sing the WrestleMania 23 theme song? And what better selection could there possibly be than the auto industry’s national anthem "Under My Wheels"?

But Alice isn’t the only legendary Detroit musician who’s still rocking out like all get out. The WWE could just as easily hire Ted Nugent to wail away on "Motor City Madhouse." And who could say no to the patriotic flag-waving spectacle of Marc Farner and Grand Funk Railroad blasting through "We’re An American Band"? From Mitch Ryder to Iggy Pop to Bob Seger, the list goes on.

So if you know which Detroit rock legend should appear at WrestleMania 23 singing his most appropriate hit, send me a letter with your choice — no e-mails, please — and I’ll publish the results in a future column. Remember, to qualify you must enclose a one dollar bill to cover all processing costs. After all, why should Vince be the only one to make a fast buck outta all this?

Have a nice day!