A cynic’s Top 20 reasons to love Detroit

That gigantic hole where the Hudson’s building used to be is very impressive.

There’s so much chlorine in the tap water we save lots of money not having to add bleach to the wash.

Police Chief Benny Napoleon has left the building.

Hardly any of the people losing their life savings at the casinos are committing suicide in public.

Our investment in pawn shop stock is paying off big-time.

No other city in the country can claim that 95 percent of its residents voted against George W. Bush, proving we must have the highest cumulative political IQ in America.

Even with lots around the Greektown casinos jacking up their prices, it is still way cheaper to park here than in Chicago.

Most of our panhandlers are extremely courteous.

New York may have the falls, but we’ve got Niagara, so there.

OK, so Cleveland got the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but at least our river never caught fire.

We continue to believe a regional light rail system will happen.

The city didn’t completely destroy the Heidelberg Project.

Now that the strike is over, the News and Free Press don’t suck nearly as much as they did during most of the 1990s.

Snowplows? We don’t need no stinking snowplows!

Demand for crack cocaine is way down.

We like the fact that Belle Isle has that “lived-in” feeling.

That question about what foreign country you hit when traveling south from the city stumps nearly everyone who doesn’t live here.

Even when the Red Wings, Pistons, Lions and Tigers are all idle, you can always find a pit bull fight to bet on.

Hardly any of the potholes are actually big enough to swallow a full-sized car.

Where else would you have Stevie Wonder concluding a commercial about Detroit’s 300th Birthday Bash by saying, “See you there?”

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