19 things you should NEVER say to a Detroiter

Please PLEASE don't say this to anyone, and if you see a suburbanite say this outside of Detroit, please tell them why they're wrong.

 

By Michael Milhim

Scroll down to view images
I heard you can buy a house for a dollar.
It’s at least a thousand dollars, and don’t act like what you’re buying's a house in the way you want it to be. 
Photo via creative Commons user Notorious4life
I heard you can buy a house for a dollar.
It’s at least a thousand dollars, and don’t act like what you’re buying's a house in the way you want it to be.
Photo via creative Commons user Notorious4life
Yall might as well be part of Canada.
We’re good, thanks though. 
Photo via Creative Commons user Norris Wong
Yall might as well be part of Canada.
We’re good, thanks though.
Photo via Creative Commons user Norris Wong
Go to Chicago for the good pizza.
Not unless you want to go into a cheese coma; go to Buddy’s to get a reasonable version of deep dish. 
Photo via Creative Commons user Filmgod
Go to Chicago for the good pizza.
Not unless you want to go into a cheese coma; go to Buddy’s to get a reasonable version of deep dish.
Photo via Creative Commons user Filmgod
Wait, Detroit’s on a river? 
It’s not like Detroit was and is a major port for shipping or anything. 
Photo via Creative Commons user jodelli
Wait, Detroit’s on a river?
It’s not like Detroit was and is a major port for shipping or anything.
Photo via Creative Commons user jodelli
The Lions suck.
GTFOH.
Photo via Dontae Rockymore
The Lions suck.
GTFOH.
Photo via Dontae Rockymore
Electric Forest is the best music electronic festival.
Sure if you like paying out the ass for corporate, mainstream fuckery. DEMF (or Movement or whatever) will always be #1. Period.  
Photo via Electric Forest's Facebook
Electric Forest is the best music electronic festival.
Sure if you like paying out the ass for corporate, mainstream fuckery. DEMF (or Movement or whatever) will always be #1. Period.
Photo via Electric Forest's Facebook
So you must love Eminem.
Who doesn't? 
Photo via Creative Commons user Mika photography
So you must love Eminem.
Who doesn't?
Photo via Creative Commons user Mika photography
Isn’t it Day-twah? 
Screw that dude, we’ll pass on the imperial undertones. 
Photo via Flickr user wisegie
Isn’t it Day-twah?
Screw that dude, we’ll pass on the imperial undertones.
Photo via Flickr user wisegie
You have a better chance of seeing a celeb at the courthouse than the Joe. 
Nobody's perfect, asshole. 
Photo via Flickr user Brian Turner
You have a better chance of seeing a celeb at the courthouse than the Joe.
Nobody's perfect, asshole.
Photo via Flickr user Brian Turner
There’re too many casinos in Detroit.
There aren’t enough casinos wherever you’re from. 
Photo via Creative Commons user Santcomm
There’re too many casinos in Detroit.
There aren’t enough casinos wherever you’re from.
Photo via Creative Commons user Santcomm