19 Detroit bars to drown your sorrows away until the election is over

By Metro Times editorial staff on Mon, Oct 24, 2016 at 8:03 pm

The election is in full-force, and it's pretty easy to tell that everyone is over it. How do you hide from the election when it is everywhere you go? Well, head to a bar to forget that it's even happening, duhh!

These bars are pretty popular, but we guarantee you can escape the election by going there. Some are dive bars, some don't have TVs, and some don't even have wifi. Just order a strong drink and wait till November 8 has passed. Cheers!

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Bumbo’s
3001 Holbrook Ave, Hamtramck
(313)-285-8239
This artsy-weirdo Hamtramck neighborhood bar is the perfect place to escape if you feel personally violated by everything that comes from Donald Trump’s mouth. Which is a lot as we all know. They even posted on their FB page that there is no wifi, so no discussing politics. Hell yeah!
Photo via IG user @bumbosbar

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Grand Trunk Pub
612 Woodward Ave, Detroit
(313)-961-3043
Not only does Grand Trunk have fabulous drinks, they also have a fantastic brunch with bottomless mimosas. Get a little tipsy and pretend that Bernie and John Kasich are running instead of Hill and Drumpf!
Photo via IG user @dustinthunderwood

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Standby
225 Gratiot Ave, Detroit
(313)-736-5533
Located downtown, the Standby is a cool little bar with specialty cocktails and drinks. Plus, no TV, aka no mainstream media that is “rigging” the election. Yay!
Photo via IG user @standbydetroit

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Bronx Bar
4476 2nd Ave, Detroit
(313)-832-8464
The Bronx Bar is the perfect place to hide from the Election. The staff is super nice, and they won’t kick you out — even if you’ve been there for hours on end.
photo via IG user @antiddote

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The Painted Lady
2930 Jacob St, Hamtramck
(313)-874-2991
With the TV barely running, this Hamtramck bar is a great place to throw a few back and never have to worry about hearing the word “email.”
Photo via IG user @prkoch

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Gigi’s
16920 Warren Ave, Detroit
(313)-584-6525
One of Detroit’s best gay bars is a great place to escape the election. Sure, most of the people there are probably voting for Hillary, but at least there will be no arguments since everyone is in agreement. Dance the night away, y’all!
Photo via IG user @gigisgaybar

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Detroit City Distillery
2462 Riopelle St, Detroit
With a tasting room and a great atmosphere, you can spend all day trying different spirits all the while ignoring the shit show that is happening in Washington.
photo via IG user @detroitcitydistillery

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Ye Olde Tap Room
14915 Charlevoix St, Detroit (313)-824-1030
As one of Detroit’s oldest bars (we’re talking pre-prohibition) the whiskey list is long, and the beer list is even longer. Escape CNN and Fox News and learn a little history at this neighborhood bar.
Photo via IG user @mille319

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Los Galenes
3362 Bagley Ave, Detroit
(313)-554-4444
While Trump may think that this place is filled with “bad hombres,” we all know that Mexicantown is fantastic and amazing. Plus, Los Galenes has $3 margaritas on Wednesdays. You know where we will be!
Photo via IG user @jason_f_hall

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Northern Lights Lounge
660 W Baltimore St, Detroit
(313)-873-1739
With a great happy hour ($2 domestic bottles!) and an awesome outdoor patio, escape the political landscape in this cute little bar.
Photo via IG user @daizylibra

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Small’s Bar
10339 Conant St, Hamtramck
(313)-873-1117
With locals bands and comedians always making a stop at Small’s, it’s a great place to be rest assured that politics won’t get mentioned (unless a comedian is doing a bit).
Photo via IG user @smallsbar

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Marble Bar
1501 Holden St, Detroit
(313)-338-3674
If you’re there for a show, or just to have a few beers, the Marble Bar is tucked away from the city and a great spot to drown your election sorrows.
Photo via IG user @sincerlydustin

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Abick’s Bar
3500 Gilbert St, Detroit
(313)-894-9392
Abick’s has been around for a very long time so they’re used to people coming in and staying hours on end. It’s the ultimate escape from the clowns running for President.
Photo via IG user @gr3ggles

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New Dodge Lounge
8850 Joseph Campau Ave, Hamtramck
(313)-874-5963 It’s a dive bar. There purpose it to escape reality. Or in this case, a shitty election.
Photo via IG user @racheldunkel

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Jumbo’s Bar
3736 3rd Ave, Detroit
(313)-831-8949
The ultimate neighborhood bar, Jumbo’s is a place where you can sit at the bar for hours on end and not be bothered by anyone. Don’t want to talk about the election? Not a problem.
Photo via IG user @detroit_dzikus

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UFO Factory
2110 Trumbull Ave, Detroit
Part concert venue, part Coney Island, part dive bar – the UFO Factory is full of amazing weirdos and visionaries that will make you forget that we are slowly running our contry into the ground. Drink up!
Photo via IG user @smashintransistors

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wo James Spirits
2445 Michigan Ave, Detroit
(313)-964-4800
You can spend hours tasting spirits in Two James’ tasting room. Just make sure you have an Uber to take you home.
Photo via IG user @estherphil

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Sugar House
2130 Michigan Ave, Detroit
(313)-962-0123
Who doesn’t love a classy cocktail? With delicious drinks that will make you want to stay for hours, and friendly bartenders, this bar is one for the list.
Photo via IG user @aarondka

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Baltimore
1234 Randolph St, Detroit
This low-key bar located downtown is a great place to escape from the big, crowded bars that populate downtown. Hopefully you can grab a drink and not have to think about lying politicians.
photo via IG user @apfoot

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