10 things to do in Detroit this weekend

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Festive Fibers with Whitney Sage, Sunday, Dec. 15th: It’s “Family Day” at one of the least-family-oriented museums in the city — the MOCAD — which is home to some of today’s most avant-garde pop art. “Festive Fibers with Whitney Sage,” which kinda rolls off the tongue nicely, is a holiday workshop where you elves of all ages can get schooled in the fine art of craft-chic, “… constructing works that go beyond simple craft.” Who knows, could be trippy; and it's free! mocadetroit.org

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The Prince and Michael Experience, Saturday, Dec. 14th: It’s Saturday night and you have no idea what to do. You look at the movie listings and the only thing you haven’t seen yet is The Book Thief. “Fuck that,” you think. “Let’s go to St. Andy’s to see a Michael Jackson tribute sharing the stage with a Prince tribute.” And why not? Jackson is long gone, and you have to pay top dollar to see “Symbol” nowadays. Instead, put your best ’80s rags on and moonwalk down Congress. At that time of night, people will just think you’re drunk or high anyway.

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The Dan Band, Friday, Dec. 13th: Who doesn’t love a good gimmick? The Dan Band has been seen in movies like Old School and Starsky & Hutch, singing ’80s songs originally performed by females with over-the-top intensity. They really feel Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and Tony Basil’s “Mickey,” with comedian Dan Finnerty closing his eyes and seemingly throwing his soul into the silly lyrics. The idea has now stretched to full tours, so you get to hear Finnerty sing more ’80s tunes for more than an hour. Hey, the guy found a cash cow and he’s milking it dry. The Tommy Marz Band also plays. thedanband.com

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Sponge/Spacehog, Thursday, Dec. 12th: Remember Spacehog’s “In the Meantime?” It’s one of those funny things — an awesome song that burst onto the scene in the mid-’90s — a glitter-and-sequin explosion when everyone else was wearing corduroy and plaid — an homage to Queen and Bowie way before the Darkness came along. The band trod water for a while and then sort of disappeared. Now the Brit-boys are back, on a bill with our own ’90s giants, Sponge, which has a new album of its own, Stop the Bleeding. It’s going to be an orgy of big hooks and ’90s nostalgia — and it might get messy. Lionize and the Red Paintings also play. majesticdetroit.com

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Yo Gabba Gabba!, Friday, Dec. 13th: If a recent Coachella Festival appearance is anything to go by, everybody loves the Nick Jr. TV show Yo Gabba Gabba! It doesn’t matter how old you are, the mere sight of exuberant host Lance Robertson in his furry orange hat getting silly with a tin robot, a furry green thing, a spiky red Cyclops, a blue cat and a pink girl — with a Hershey’s Kiss for a head — is enough to turn the most drained of parents into dancing loons, while hipster kids are getting attached too. Ahhh, postmodern irony — you love your games. It’s the Teletubbies on LSD with Biz Markie doing beatbox. yogabbagabba.com

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Woodward Wonderland, Saturday, Dec. 14th: Mosaic Youth Theatre of Detroit takes you on a nostalgic trip back in time with its holiday production, Woodward Wonderland: A Detroit Holiday Celebration. The play fondly recalls Detroit holiday traditions like Noel Night, skating at Campus Martius Park, the Thanksgiving Day parade down Woodward Avenue and “Toyland,” the place to visit Santa on the 12th floor of the now-imploded J.L. Hudson’s building. It's the perfect night out for couch potatoes (or those too young) to have seen the real thing. dia.org

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Holiday Cheer at Wild Lights, Thursday, Dec. 12th: The 21-and-over event will allow guests to enjoy specialty holiday drinks while viewing the Zoo’s spectacular holiday light display. More than two million twinkling LED lights will brighten the evening sky and illuminate buildings, animal sculptures and trees on a half-mile trail through the front of the Zoo.Tickets are $40. detroitzoo.org/wild-lights/holiday-cheer

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Ever wish that Etsy existed offline? Enter the Rust Belt Market, a year-round market exclusively providing an affordable brick-and-mortar venue to the local artistic community. rustbeltmarket.com/

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Detroit Holiday Food Bazaar, Friday, Dec. 13th and Saturday, Dec. 14: The annual event rotates through different Detroit locations, throwing a spotlight on one city neighborhood each year. This year’s bazaar will be held in the Jefferson-Chalmers business district, at three different storefronts for a festive neighborhood shopping experience. Friday evening’s market will feature food trucks, and pop-up-turned-permanent coffee shop Coffee and (________) (yes, that’s really what it’s called!) will be open for the duration of the event at 14409 E. Jefferson Ave, Detroit. Facebook page

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Grand Prix Madonnas vs. Detroit Pistoffs, Saturday, Dec. 14: The Detroit Derby Girls 2014 season features the last seasons champion Grand Prix Madonnas vs. the second place Detroit Pistoffs. Doors open at 4:45 p.m. and the bout starts at 6. Facebook page

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