Wednesday, August 21, 2013

MC Hammer vs. Starship

Posted By on Wed, Aug 21, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Both MC Hammer and Starship (featuring Mickey Thomas) are performing on the Main Stage at Arts Beats & Eats this year, albeit on different days. If you were only planning on going for one day this leaves you with one hell of a dilemma. Allow us to help.

In one corner, we have the disputed king of pop-rap anthems and baggy pants. In the other, the band that Jefferson Starship left behind. Let battle commence. Eddie Money is taking on the winner.

Hammer wasn’t sitting at his peak for very long, but he still managed to lose $30 million and eventually seek bankruptcy protection. That’s spending.
BUT
Starship’s “We Built This City” was ranked the worst song of all time by Blender, ahead of such stinkers as “Achy Breaky Heart,” “Ice Ice Baby,” and “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” No Hammer songs were in the top 10, so that’s 1-0 Hammer.

Hammer lost half of the proceeds from “U Can’t Touch This” to Rick James, whose “Superfreak” tune is basically the same song.
BUT
Starship is a spin-off of Jefferson Starship, in turn a spin-off of Jefferson Airplane, one of the great American ’60s bands. Therefore, when playing live, Starship feels justified playing songs like “Somebody to Love” and “White Rabbit,” and nobody sues. 1-1

Hammer was very nearly a pro baseball player with the Oakland A’s. What the fuck?
BUT
“Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” was featured in the film Mannequin. 2-1 Hammer.

Reggie Jackson gave Hammer his nickname because he said he looked like record batting champ Hank Aaron.
BUT
Grace Slick was in Starship (even though she hates the songs now). 2-2

Besides “U Can’t Touch This,” Hammer has “Too Legit to Quit,” “Pray,” “Have You Seen Her,” and “Addams Groove.”
BUT
Besides “We Built This City” and “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” Starship has shit. That’s really it.

3-2. Watch out Eddie Money – it’s Hammer time.


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