Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Hollywood Potato Chips

Posted By on Wed, Aug 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM

Ranking right up there with the Arrogant Worms, these thrash punkers are one of North America’s greatest satirical groups. But then again, with song titles like “Don’t Make Me Get My Fat Lazy Ass Off The Couch” and “Christian Or Canadian” (lyrics available upon request), how can they not be? Not only is their logo straight outta the trade rag Variety, inside the booklet their four mugs are depicted in the kind of Hirschfeld-style portraits that used to adorn the walls inside the Brown Derby.

They also have the good taste to cover “Don’t Stop Me Now,” Freddy Mercury’s showbiz paean from Queen’s Jazz album. Even better than that, their publishing company is called ‘Puppety Frenchman Music.’ So take off that ancient Mojo Nixon album and give the Vandals the time of day instead. You’ll be glad you did and, even more, so will they.

And now, by special request:

“It couldn’t be worse from chorus to verse. It sounds like Korn but a little bit worse. Is it Christian or Canadian? It sounds like emo or not so tight screamo. And he keeps saying ‘Him’ so I’m gonna say homo. Is it Christian or Canadian? He’s wearing a sweater like ’98 Vedder. But it’s 2002 and the song could be better. Is it Christian or Canadian? Someone get me a gun!”

E-mail Jeffrey Morgan at letters@metrotimes.com.

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