What is THAT? – Oddities from the MT mailbox

Sep 13, 2013 at 10:27 am

Here’s the deal. Every day here at the Metro Times, our mail delivery includes CDs, books and all sorts of other promotional items. A lot of it we can use and review – local-interest music, DVDs, etc. But we also get a lot of weird and whacky items that just kinda build up. So that’s where this idea came from. Each week (or at least most weeks) I’ll gather up some of the more interesting, freaky and brow-furrowing promo pieces and offer them up here for you. I could be about to show you anything. On that note, feel free to send us anything to Brett Callwood, 733 St Antoine, Detroit MI 48226.

Just look at the cover of Beverly Jenkins’ Destiny’s Surrender (Avon Books). Isn’t that freaking awesome? Apparently, books like this are still published, which is great. No surprises, the book is a “bodice ripper” (one of the greatest phrases ever concocted). According to the back of the book, “Andrew Yates has come to a decision; it’s time to stop sowing those oats and start a family.” Fair enough, but plenty of oats still get sowed here. In all manner of imaginative ways. By the end, it’s a veritable oat-fest, with a few individuals enjoying an oat-meal. You think, “How many ways can an author describe sex?” and Jenkins will answer with a poetic nugget like, “She arched in response to his carnal dallying.” Carnal dallying – YES. Now that’s one of the greatest phrases ever concocted.

In ’69, two Harvard graduates created a new magazine called The National Lampoon. Nowadays, especially to younger generations, the brand is known for a string of Chevy Chase Vacation movies of which some were great (the European one) and some were awful (the Vegas one). But back in the day, National Lampoon was on the cutting edge of comedy, with the likes of Bill Murray, Christopher Guest and John Landis serving up both sharp political satire and broad but no-less-smart crude comedy. With That’s Not Funny, That’s Sick, journalist Ellin Stein captures the rise from university magazine to internationally-renowned institution. It’s a funny and fascinating read that almost makes you want to watch Animal House again.

Holy crap, wait, did we just get a 10” plush Dorothy the Dinosaur toy in the mail from the Wiggles? Yes! Yes we did.