We want to get murdered in these cute WiFi-less cabins with phone lock boxes in western Michigan

click to enlarge We want to get murdered in these cute WiFi-less cabins with phone lock boxes in western Michigan
Courtesy of Getaway House

It sounds great, right? A cozy and aesthetically pleasing, reasonably-priced cabin situated in nature where your iPhone's red notification bubbles, social media pings, and unanswered work emails are no match for the peace and serenity that comes with truly logging the fuck off. But for anyone who's ever listened to a true-crime podcast, or like, is a woman, you know that a WiFi-less cabin has all the makings for, well, a true-crime podcast.

Of course, a WiFi-less cabin with a lockbox for your phone, like those offered by Brooklyn-based startup Getaway, would probably be the most Instagrammable place to get murdered. Anyway, people near western Michigan can soon take the unplugged plunge at these tiny, hip, and totally in-demand rentals.

Getaway has added a Michigan location to its list of a dozen “outpost” destinations throughout the U.S., MLive reports. The “Getaway Barber Creek” cabins are strewn across 79 acres in Grand Junction (near Grand Haven) and will offer 31 cabins equipped with queen-sized beds and 10 with bunk beds, suited for 2-4 guests.

“Western Michigan is a sought-after vacation destination to relax and recharge while enjoying nature for Chicagoans and Michiganders alike,” the company wrote in a statement shared with MLive. “The opportunity to position our second Midwestern Getaway Outpost in a location that can serve two major cities in two different states is one we’re excited about.”

All cabins range from 140 to 200 square feet and start at $129 per night, also include air conditioning, heat, a private bathroom, shower, running water, two-burner stove, pots and pans, a fire pit and grill grate, picnic table, and optional cell phone lockbox. You can also add the sustenance box for $30, which comes with snacks, cans of soup, beef jerky, pasta, and pasta sauce, which would also be perfect for anyone looking to stage a tangy tomato-based murder.

Apparently, due to the pandemic, Getaway stays are pretty damn popular. The company saw a 150% increase in bookings in 2020, and almost all of Getaway's outposts were booked 100% of the time, which means if you are interested in what could be the most relaxing/terrifying vacay of your life, you may want to book soonish.

Currently, Getaway Barber Creek is accepting reservations from April 1 and beyond.

To learn more, visit Getaway.house/Chicago.

(And as always, be weird, be rude, and stay alive.)

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