Trash crack-up

If your kid is still stuck in that Kid Rock-inspired wannabe white-trash phase, then beat him at his own game — in his own lunchbox. Send junior off to school with a box of Cracker Meal ($2.49 at Farmer Jack). Yes, it is just a box of bread crumbs, but it is a meal for crackers, get it? If that doesn’t teach him that being white trash isn’t cool, then pack up some low-grade chicken parts covered in Hooters Wing Sauce ($3.99 at Meijer). Have a good school year, kids! Tom A’Hearn pays attention here every other week. E-mail [email protected]
Scroll to read more Culture articles
Join the Metro Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join Detroit Metro Times Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.