The Lust Poll: Our reader’s 100 naughtiest words

Feb 11, 2015 at 1:00 am

We asked for it, and you told us, in this case, your least favorite words for some of our favorite body parts. Just to keep this outburst of lewdness as quick as possible, here below are your answers. Surprisingly, vagina beat penis this year for variety. Try reading the offerings for penis really fast, though, and we think it still stands up.

Scrotum: Bag, ball sack, Balzac, balls, bugz on my nugz, the creamhouse, deez nuts, hairy bean bag, happy sack, huevos, jubblies, lady's peach pouch, nooksak, nut sack, pocket full of dirt.

Butt: A-hole, arse, azz, the backdoor, badunkadunk, balloon knot, booty, dumper, fanny, poop chute, poop factory, pooper, rump, tush, turd cutter, turd slicer, whale's eye.

Penis: Anaconda, bishop, blue-veined custard chucker, bologna pony, bone, cack, chubby, cock, cockmeat sandwich, deathstroke the terminator, dong, doodily dang, doopsey-doodle, Dr. Sprocket's rectal rocket, flopzoid, the gagler-wagler, hammer, heat-seeking moisture missile, horn, Johnson, meat, meat missile, Mr. ___________, pecker, pee-pee, pink piston, pork sword, prong, purple-headed yogurt-squirter, rattlesnake with a hard hat on, sausage, schlong, skin flute, tallywhacker, throbbing gristle, the throbster, Tiny Montgomery, todger, trouser trout, tube steak, weewee, wiener, wingwang, womb broom, ye olde one eye.

Vagina: Ax wound, baby drain, baby cave, baby’s first Slip’N Slide by Wham-O, bearded clam, beaver, beef curtains, box, bubblegum, cat flaps, catcher’s mitt, cock holster, cock socket, coin purse, cooch, coochie, cooter, cooze, cum dumpster, cunt, dong garage, flange, floppy taco, front bottom, furburger, gash, Grand Canyon, gravy boat, gravy pipe, grommet, ham wallet, hatchet wound, hooha, hoohoo, hot flaps, juice box, lady business, love glove, man hole, meat cave, meat curtains, minge, monkey, moss-covered ax wound, mud flaps, muff, nappy dugout, other lips, parted Red Sea, pie, pink elevator, pink taco, piss flaps, prison purse, punani, pussy, quim, roast beef danglers, roast beef sandwich, slit, snapper, snatch, spam purse, special no-no spot, squash mitten, squish mitten, stink valley, the wound that will not heal, tiny taco, tootsie-toy, twat, vajayjay, vertical smile.