Last year's leftovers

Dec 27, 2000 at 12:00 am

You can always count on television miniseries producers to look at the most heart- or other organ-wrenching events of the past for fodder in upcoming seasons. So here are the miniseries we expect to see in 2001, based on stuff that happened this year. No, we don’t know of anyone actually producing these yet, but we’ll option the screenplays (tapped out by our interns during their lunch breaks) to the highest bidders.

“Curse of the Kursk”

Relive the terrifying last hours aboard the Russian submarine. Watch as Russian president Vlad Putin, mai tai in hand, scopes the horizon from the beach, searching for signs of another ship into which the Kursk might have collided.

“Alien Return: The Elian Saga”

A boy. His dad. Stomach-turning political intrigue and a cameo by Janet Reno. Many commercials for Disneyland and Nintendo sprinkled throughout.

“Who Wants to Watch a Million Television Shows?”

Watch as contestants make the ultimate effort in the name of fast cash: They vow to endure a million hours of network television. Who will last longest? Who will be voted off the air? Who can answer all 500 television trivia questions while whipping up a rat soufflé?

“The Higher They Fly”

A drama based on the Concorde. Learn about the aerodynamic and aviation industries through the lives of two starry-eyed flight attendants who meet their demise in a fiery inferno. Cameo appearance by Firestone.

“My Name is Chad”

A young man discovers the true meaning of democracy when he sets out to vote for the very first time in a poor, underprivileged county in Florida.

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