Gawker can suck it

Gawker? Fuck those guys!

In the past, we’ve enjoyed reading Gawker because of its penchant for taking the piss out of self-important figures. These jaded news-watchers have usually trained their sights on celebrities, moguls and other gasbags, with satisfactory results.

But then we looked at a piece about Detroit in Gawker this week and thought, “That’s some seriously stupid bullshit right there.”

The “article” in question was the content of a “campfire” chat between various bloggers about what was to be done about Detroit. And it shows that the folks who write for Gawker shouldn’t comment on stuff they obviously don’t know or really care about.

That’s because the “article,” which the editors probably thought was a snarky, irreverent, laugh-a-minute chat that would stand on its own as a Gawker post, was a piece of offensive, self-important horseshit. Anybody who knows humor knows that, to be really funny, you only pick on big people, never little ones.

But that news hasn’t been passed on to the people at Gawker. They exhibit a passing familiarity with the issues facing Detroit, all while flaming one another and spitballing ideas any Detroiter would find offensive.

And watching these well-fed coastal bloggers joking about an underclass they obviously don’t know and haven’t reported on makes us want to puke with rage.

Have a look at this piece of indulgent writing, if you can stand it. They think they’re so funny. They think they’re so cute. They don’t really need knowledge or love of Detroit to write. They, after all, are the real celebrities, like it’s the office at TMZ, and they’re the real stars. Detroit is just a punch line, a construct they can use to act out their snarky little office theater.

It seems that, once upon a time, a reporter or writer used to report on the world. If they wanted a story, they had to chase somebody around a block, or sit in a car watching a window and drinking shitty coffee. You see, that’s not journalism anymore. Journalism is sitting in your fucking pajamas in an expensive loft apartment watching TV and running a chat log with other people watching TV in their loft apartments.

After reading this crap, don’t you wish these fuckers could be kidnapped, blindfolded and dropped off in a tuxedo at the corner of Dexter and Richton at 2 a.m.? It’s enough to make you want to break Bobby Ferguson out of the federal pen just so he can go give these self-absorbed twits a Detroit-style pistol-whipping. Fuck these guys!

Should you choose to peruse this vile chat, note how the comments section is enormously more interesting than the actual “discussion” between the Gawkerites.

Michael Jackman

Born in 1969 at Mount Carmel hospital in Detroit, Jackman grew up just 100 yards from the Detroit city line in east Dearborn. Jackman has attended New York University, the School of Visual Arts, Northwestern University and Wayne State University, though he never got a degree. He has worked as a bar back, busboy,...
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