Did Clickhole just totally nail gentrification in Detroit?

In our endless trolling of the internet, we just stumbled across this post by Clickhole. Like the last five people on the planet who don't know The Onion is a satirical news site, we were a little bemused at the idea that someone was buying up foreclosed houses in order to turn them into Fuddruckers franchises. Of course, it's a total farce. 

Sure, the article is funny, but did Clickhole just totally nail gentrification in Detroit on the head? Maia Browne is the optimistic, spunky artist with a heart of gold, who's going to save the city by bringing in a national dining chain, which wipes out blight one deep-fried appetizer at a time. 

Corporate dollars have come to save the day! Neighborhood residents feel deep gratitude when gazing upon bright, yellow awnings! It's a gentrifier's dream come true! 

Of course, to really fall into that category, Browne couldn't have grown up trying to "escape Detroit's decaying west side," but rather in a hoity toity suburb somewhere north of the city. Still, the last line of the satirical news story would have made Aaron Foley squirm if he'd read it on Daily Detroit: "Bravo, Maia. If every artist had her vision, the world would change overnight."

About The Author

Alysa Zavala-Offman

Alysa Zavala-Offman is the managing editor of Detroit Metro Times. She lives in the downriver city of Wyandotte with her husband, toddler, mutt, and two orange cats.
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