In our endless trolling of the internet, we just stumbled across this post by Clickhole
. Like the last five people on the planet who don't know The Onion
is a satirical news site, we were a little bemused at the idea that someone was buying up foreclosed houses in order to turn them into Fuddruckers franchises. Of course, it's a total farce.
Sure, the article is funny, but did Clickhole just totally nail gentrification in Detroit on the head? Maia Browne is the optimistic, spunky artist with a heart of gold, who's going to save the city by bringing in a national dining chain, which wipes out blight one deep-fried appetizer at a time.
Corporate dollars have come to save the day! Neighborhood residents feel deep gratitude when gazing upon bright, yellow awnings! It's a gentrifier's dream come true!
Of course, to really fall into that category, Browne couldn't have grown up trying to "escape Detroit's decaying west side," but rather in a hoity toity suburb somewhere north of the city. Still, the last line of the satirical news story would have made Aaron Foley squirm if he'd read it on Daily Detroit
: "Bravo, Maia. If every artist had her vision, the world would change overnight."