Cheat Code

Oct 7, 2009 at 12:00 am

Bethesda Softworks
Xbox 360, PS3

Let's get this out of the way: The game's called Wet, and the main character's a hot chick with tattoos and a big sword. One might think this to be a jiggle-fest with a bunch of dick jokes. But, alas, the joke's on you, pal. The sex appeal is surprisingly low, unless you're into girls who don't actually care they're hot, only about getting paid, and killing the fuck out of anyone who keeps them from a payday. 

Rubi Malone doesn't care about world peace or fighting for the oppressed, but what she does care about is her bank account, and the appropriate payback when she's wronged. Malone's tale of money and revenge takes her from the Southern states to Hong Kong, and back again (and again) with a few storyline twists en route. Wet oozes style, taking from the Robert Rodriguez school of Texarkana kill-'em-all flicks, complete with a bumping country and 'billy soundtrack. 

Controls take getting used to, but once you have it, massacring your enemies is a cinch, using a combination of acrobatics, your sword and a variety of guns (you'll only need the pistols). Your energy is replenished with whiskey, which tells you even more about Rubi. Sometimes you break from running around killing people; instead, you kill on cars or freefalling from an exploding plane. But don't get it twisted — you will be killing.

Action is fast, with the only hiccup being "rage" mode, where everything is either red, black or dead and it's hard to see where the hell you're supposed to go. Wet is a perfect Saturday afternoon killfest. —Bryant Franks

Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
Nintendo DS 

The sequel to one of the all-time best DS games is even better than the original. This time, the prof and his apprentice investigate a pal's death, which might be tied to a mysterious box. More than 150 brain-burning puzzles guide the way. Best of all: You can download new puzzles every week. One of the top games of the year. —Mike Gallucci