Basic Headiquette

Heed the rules of courtesy when lighting up!

Nov 2, 2011 at 12:00 am

Give the gift of the green hit

You don't have to do much to set the tone for a good session. If you're enjoying a toke with those seasoned in the smoke — and it's your herb that's wrapped up or packed up — defer the hit. Especially if you're at home. Don't make a scene out of it, bequeathing it unto your chronic compadre. It doesn't have to be profusely ceremonial. Just hand it off with a smile. This classic gesture lets your guest know you're cool. The better the weed, the better you look. And when someone offers you the green hit, be grateful. If it's good stuff, let 'em know. Weed makes for a natural and nuanced icebreaker. 

Corner the green market

No matter where you land in the rotation, when a bowl is being torched from atop, with any number of colored Bic lighters, do what you can to rip a tasty hit without scorching the whole forest. Hold the lighter a little higher than you think you should, and use the power of your inhale to pull the flame onto the herb. 

Pass the baton

It's imperative the apparatus is handled with care. Don't rush. If you're passing a joint, pinch and roll it off your index. It's basically doing the Itsy Bitsy Spider thing, but with someone else. A teammate. It only feels weird the first time. And if you're handing off a bowl, bong, bat or bubbler, ensure all parties involved have a secure grip before you let go. Broken glass is a deep and messy buzzkill. You don't want bong water on your hands. Making an immaculate reception requires just enough concentration left in capacity to execute successfully while even incredulously stoned high. The very kind of thing you can do high but could never accomplish drunk. 

Clear the chamber

Sometimes a bong or bubbler can deliver a hit that can catch you off guard. You cough for a few seconds and pass the glass to the next guy in line. That's fine, but be sure to clear out whatever glass device you're using of any stale lingering smoke before passing it along. Bongs are the worst. Give someone the heads-up if you think there could be some stale smoke in the cylinder. Inhaling that is the equivalent to gulping down the last sip of someone's beer from warm, stagnant, once-frosty mug. 

Fire down below

It's your responsibility, as a kind and thoughtful representative of stoners worldwide, to give fair warning if you believe there might not be a good hit left in the bowl and that your tokin' teammate might actually be in danger of getting a mouthful of ash. Yep: ash mouth. "Take it easy on this one, and you might get a nice little hit there," is a fine thing to say. But so is, "Proceed with caution, bro."

Don't bogart that joint

The joint isn't the speaking stick you pass around the fire. That goes in the other direction. No, the spliff is the antitheses of the speaking stick. Some smokers fancy the joint a microphone, taking one puff every now and then while recounting some tale about some other time when, as it were, they were high. Don't be that guy. If gangsta rap taught us anything, it's puff, puff, pass. 

Spit check

While enjoying cannabis is notorious for causing cottonmouth, it can also have the opposite effect, and activate your saliva glands. This is especially true when smoking joints and blunts. Be careful. You don't want to leave anything behind when you hand it to your buddy, especially some soggy leaf you just performed something on. 

Rotation location (or 'How to get in where you fit in')

Entering into an active smokers circle can be awkward sometimes. If it's more or less your session, invite the latest person to the session to stand next to whoever's currently holding the herb so that they're next in line. If you're the one who's the latest to the session and you're not invited to be next in line for a toke, don't fret. Unless you know everyone in the circle pretty well, don't just go right to the next spot in the circle. Instead, find a natural break in the circle and mention something about the sweet aroma, or maybe Al Green, Mary Jane or Funkdoctaspok. Of course, the best way to enter an active session is by making that timeless peace offering. If you're going to just roll up on a session with something of your own to spark, be mindful of the direction the pipe is traveling in. Are we passing to the left or right? Do not fuck up the rotation. 



5 Easy Steps for a Rip-Roaring Bong Session

• Grind your herb

• Use fresh, cold water but do not overfill

• Consider stacking ice cubes 

• Pour out bong water after each use

• And by all means never, ever spill the bong!