Trash crack-up 

If your kid is still stuck in that Kid Rock-inspired wannabe white-trash phase, then beat him at his own game — in his own lunchbox. Send junior off to school with a box of Cracker Meal ($2.49 at Farmer Jack). Yes, it is just a box of bread crumbs, but it is a meal for crackers, get it? If that doesn’t teach him that being white trash isn’t cool, then pack up some low-grade chicken parts covered in Hooters Wing Sauce ($3.99 at Meijer). Have a good school year, kids! Tom A’Hearn pays attention here every other week. E-mail

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