The best laid plans 

How two porn stars turned celebrity homewrecking into celebrity branding

The Super Bowl is an American institution. It's the one day of the year where Americans come together and focus on common loves: Golf, tattoos, pole dancing and porn. What? You thought football, commercials and halftime shows? Not if you spend your Super Bowl weekend at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, where two of America's most infamous bad girls will be on hand to make every touchdown that much more literal.

Joslyn James and Michelle "Bombshell" McGee are part of a new breed of celebrity. They're famous for sleeping with married dudes. Obviously this kind of name-brand notoriety isn't totally new — Monica Lewinsky, the most famous mistress in recent times, took her tumble with President Clinton in the late '90s. Did scandal ultimately make her famous? Yes — she had a good run of it: book deals, interviews, Jenny Craig ads, a handbag line. But she knew she was riding out scandal, not using it as a platform from which to launch her brand. James and McGee see their scandalous endeavors as a jumping-off point from which all possibilities are open. Between that mind-set and our nation's current "the worse you are, the more famous we'll make you" star-branding policy, there couldn't be a better time for these two women to come hopping out of the beds of those whose shame will bring them fame. This isn't a statement of judgment, this is just acceptance of the current cultural climate. Don't pretend you don't know.

It's easy to put on appearances of disapproval and then purchase, for instance, Joslyn James' The 11th Hole DVD, the Tiger Woods scenario in a no-holes-barred satire, in the privacy of your own home. Because, let's face it: there are two things you love, golf and buying porn on the Internet in the middle of the night.

This interviewer spoke to James briefly regarding her upcoming trek to Motown for Super Bowl weekend (during which she'll do a feature dance wearing a Masters jacket to a song that was written about her affair with Tiger Woods). Knowing she's probably bombarded with Tiger-related questions and not wanting to tread such tired ground, the topic was purposely avoided. The interview was all of one minute in before she brought him up herself.

Metro Times: Have you ever been to Detroit before?

Joslyn James: I was in Lansing not that long ago. ... He used to fly me out there when he had tournaments. ...

MT: "He" meaning Tiger Woods, right?

James: Yes.

So it seems she's perfectly willing to go there. There's no better evidence than The 11th Hole, which tells the story of their affair in intimate detail, complete with graphic text message action. "I made it in May of last year when things were still raw and fresh ... I had a good crew and cast that I hand picked myself, so even though it was hard and emotional, it made it a lot easier." Porno as immersion therapy perhaps?

For a woman who claims that she and Woods sometimes had sex "four or five times a day," it's no shock that she's got stamina and is wasting no time in 2011. "This is going to be a big year for me. I'm working on three different reality shows, I'm building a cosmetics line [Shameless by Joslyn James], designing a line of shirts, the company T.I.T.S. [Two in the Shirt]. I'm also doing a signature line of glass sex toys with the company Dildo Dr. [part of proceeds from each purchase will even go to charity]." That's a lot of brand-building in a short time period. Joslyn James, no matter what heights she may aspire to, will always be most known for her affair with Tiger Woods. But the point is, you can bet your 9 iron she's gonna aspire. And we're gonna cheer her along, aspire along with her. Because this is America.


Not to be outdone
, Michelle McGee calls herself "the world's most notorious mistress." Before you complain that her affair with Jesse James just doesn't seem to rank as high as Bill Clinton or Tiger Woods, just remember that McGee's affair hurt Sandra Bullock. America's sweetheart. Now that's notoriety. Note that McGee has posed with Nazi regalia (she denies she's a racist), and she is tatted from head to toe.

"I don't put that much thought and energy into my tattoos — I go with what looks cool. On one of my shins I have Buddy Christ from the movie Dogma, on the other, I have Hello Kitty getting decapitated." Unlike James, McGee says she keeps it a little more straightforward. "I have a certain look — lots of people come to see me specifically because of the tattoos, so I keep my look simple and basic. Usually fetish — leather and vinyl." This might be the first time a woman has referred to her look as "basic" and "simple" without meaning "sweatpants" and "hoodie." Speaking of hoodie, she's also building her brand with a clothing line — Sin for Sale. You may have seen her most popular shirt — it says "Filthy Whore" across the front. If that one is too tame for you, you can always go with the more straightforward "Evil Cunt." McGee's last visit to Detroit was not so great: "We got stuck in Detroit during that huge blizzard back in December. We were totally stuck in the airport!" But she seems a lot more optimistic about this coming trip. Asked about favorite Detroit music, she said she loves Eminem. "Tell him I said he's hot [wink-wink]. Come to the show!"

Joslyn James and Michelle "Bombshell" McGee will be performing at the Super Bowl Weekend Extravaganza at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, 980 John A. Papalas Dr., Lincoln Park; 313-388-8400. Doors open 7 p.m on Saturday, Feb. 5, and at 4 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 6. No cover until 7 p.m.

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