Media Blackout 

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The MB38 Team! • Xiu XiuLa Forêt (5RC) :: Proof positive that you can suck and blow at the same time. Speaking of which ... • Michael JacksoffOff The Wall (Sony 1979) :: Not Guilty! • Ron Spencer & JumpstartLivin’ Low (Blue Wave) :: Not only is Ron no slouch in the jumpin’ jive guitar department, you’ll also dig that he has the septuagenarian father of rock ’n’ roll Jimmy “The Houserocker” Cavallo guesting on vocals and sax. • Michael JacksoffThriller (Sony 1982) :: Not Guilty! • Some GirlsThe DNA Will Have It’s Say (Three.One.G) :: Funny how they can spell “Nazi” but not “its.” • Michael Jacksoff Bad (Sony 1987) :: Not Guilty! • The KnittersThe Modern Sound of The Knitters (ZOË) :: This oughta be the twangabilly sound track to Tarantino’s next movie. • Michael JacksoffDangerous (Sony 1991) :: Not Guilty! • AmbryHolding On by the Blindfolds We Hide Behind (Death Scene) :: Well, there goes my word count. • Michael JacksoffHIStory (Sony 1996) :: Not Guilty! • Clumsy LoversSmart Kid (Nettwerk) :: It figures that Canada’s answer to Boiled in Lead would record an instrumental ditty called “Cock of the North.” Speaking of which... • Michael JacksoffInvincible (Sony 2001) :: Not Guilty! • SIZZLING PARODY OF THE WEEK: John CenaBad, Bad Man (WWE) :: Don’t laugh because what started out as a pathetic Marky Mark goof has now evolved to the point where Cena can star in a note-perfect A-Team video satire and nail George “Hannibal” Peppard’s trademarked mannerisms right down to the old carpetbagger’s megawatt grin. I love it when an MB comes together. • Be seeing you, you guilty fool!

Jeffrey Morgan is a freelance writer. Send comments to

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