King Cobra tastes like a dirty frat party, but it's cheap and it gets you drunk

Aug 20, 2014 at 1:00 am

King Cobra tastes like college. Or perhaps more specifically, King Cobra tastes like that dirty frat party you stay at too late during college. The one where you fall asleep in some stranger's pick-up truck and lose your favorite silk bandana and those really awesome shades. King Cobra, similarly, is what you smell like the next morning, like old stewed vegetables and wet newspaper — a strange and noxious combination for sure. Yet, the next weekend you'll pick up three 40s of King Cobra on your way to the same frat house for the same dirty party. Why? Because three huge bottles of this malt liquor cost your sad little wallet little more than $5. It might taste pungent and oddly sweet, and, sure, it's devoid of hops or any identifiable flavor profiles, but gosh darn, it gets you drunk. It's the perfect go-to for a game of Edward 40 Hands or beer pong, where most of it's going to end up on the floor or thrown up anyway.

Billed as a premium malt liquor that's brewed with a combination of the finest six-row barley malts and corn. They promise that a warmer fermentation process produces a fruity aroma with a sweet, bold finish and a full-flavored body that goes down smooth. That's all fine and good (and not true), but there's still no shame in drinking something cheap as hell that's going to get you drunk as shit. This is college, after all.