Homeland Insecurity — The Board Game 

Rules of Play: The player with the highest income (or allowance) goes first, followed by the second, third, etc.

Begin on the "Start" square. Roll die to determine number of squares to move. Play moves in a clockwise direction toward the "Win" space — unless you are instructed to move back, in which case you proceed counterclockwise (duh) toward the "Lose" square.

Each place you land on dictates how many spaces and the direction you will move on your next turn. Should you land on the "Start" square after play has begun, roll die and move clockwise on your next turn.

If you end up in the mall, you can stay for up to three turns. Roll die to exit. Upon reentering (which counts as one move), you can proceed in either direction.

Players landing in the "INS Detention Center" and "Secret Tribunal" squares lose one turn. Roll die to exit. You must move backward when leaving these spaces. The game ends when the first player reaches the "Win" square. Should no one land in that coveted space, the last player with a piece still in play is crowned king. Rule wisely. Trash-talking is encouraged.

Play the game
Grab your die — watch your rights die!

More by Curt Guyette

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