Give her a raise 

Q: I am a single woman in my 40s working at a small construction company. I have developed a relationship with some of our subcontractors through the years. From time to time, I deliver supplies or plans to the job sites. Some time ago, after arranging to meet a particular sub at a particular site, I arrived to find him fully engaged in the most fascinating forms of self-pleasure. Not being one to miss a grand opportunity, I immediately joined in the most gratifying of multiorgasmic delights. Word of the event got around to the other subs; I was invited to visit many other job sites where I found the men in full erection, waiting for my arrival. There have been times I've had the pleasure of more than one in the same visit. I can't describe the intensity and thrill of anticipation when I arrive at a site, not knowing who or how many men will be there and in what stage of arousal I'll find them. I have never been disappointed. All of us practice the rules of safer sex and there are no problems with demands or expectations outside the workday. We even manage to keep our activities within our flexible lunch hours. These men are the most virile, imaginative group I have ever met; what they can do with a power tool and some homemade ingenuity is incredible. They are now in a good-natured competition to see who can acquire the most pairs of my underwear. I then spend the remainder of the day without panties (which I really don't mind, especially after a hot and steamy sexual romp). But it is getting somewhat costly to keep replacing my panties and thongs (which rate extra points). I love going to work, morale is at an all-time high and I don't want to spoil the fun, but how to I get them to understand I'd really like to get my panties back?

A: For all you have done to improve labor relations, your boss should give you unlimited charging privileges at the lingerie supplier of your choice. You can tell him I said so. Other than that, ask the guys to contribute to a collection box (other than yours) at the site. I gather that things have escalated beyond the initial mutual-masturbation event, but what I don't get is what those virile men do with their power tools, unless, what you mean is not the kind that come from Tools ’R’ Us but the kind Mother Nature supplied them at birth.

Q: I am a 29-year-old male who has strong sexual feelings for a second cousin. She is 24 and living out of state. When we were younger we basically had a kissing-cousins relationship (down each others pants and dry humps) up until I was about 14 or 15. I started to feel what we were doing was wrong, basically because I was molested as a young boy and felt I might be taking advantage of her. She was still sitting on my lap, jumping in bed with me and doing other noninvasive things. Deep in my heart I wanted to be her first, but the whole "taking advantage thing" prevented me from telling her. Just recently I came clean with her, because it was killing me not telling her I am so attracted to her. She said, "I know" and 20 minutes later did the same thing she always did — jumped in my lap. Should I go a step further and fulfill myself by being with her? I seems to me she is waiting for me to make a move. I don't know how much more jumping in my lap I can take.

A: She's the one to ask. You are now both adults. There are no laws regarding second-cousin couplings in any of the 50 states. A response of "I know" when an attraction is confessed seems like a go-ahead to me. When in doubt ask. Isadora Alman, author of Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex, is a board-certified sexologist and a California-licensed marriage-and-family therapist. Contact her at Her Sexuality Forum is at

Speaking of Love & Sex, Ask Isadora

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