Bruised peach 

Sensitive creatures that we are, members of the Abandoned Structure Squad occasionally take to heart the criticism that we are, like, totally shallow and way too negative. Kick us enough, and ASS’ tender psyche suffers trauma — nothing that a night of heavy drinking won’t cure, but still. ... So, this week, we will try to contain our sniggering over Detroit’s ruination long enough to do some actual good and point ASSophiles to the Web site of the Wayne County Prosecutor’s Office, which offers seized homes to the highest bidder. As of Monday, the high bid on this slightly bruised peach was $200. Even with back taxes and utility bills totaling $5,500, this two-bedroom model, according to our friends at the Prosecutor’s Office, “may be just what you are looking for.” New construction occurring nearby is sure to increase property values in the area, and there are at least two vacant lots adjacent to the home at 13500 Chapel. For more info, aim your browser at

Editor’s note: If you know of an abandoned home you would like to see featured in this spot, send a photo and pertinent information to News Hits, c/o Metro Times, 733 St. Antoine, Detroit, MI 48226 (or e-mail

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