Browse Culture Stories

On good pedophiles: What about those who keep it to themselves?

By Dan Savage

Published: 2/3/2010

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: Let's say, theoretically, I'm a pedophile. I'm not stupid or evil, so I'm not gonna do anything. I'm not even gonna look at porn, because the production of it involves child exploitation. Hell, even porn that's just drawn pictures — perverts drawing smut for perverts with no kids or anyone...[MORE]

Three's company: Sometimes it takes more than two to make a thing go right

By Dan Savage

Published: 1/27/2010

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a single (mostly) gay guy who is curious about women. A hot bisexual mate is interested in a friends-with-benefits arrangement. I'm not looking for an LTR just now, so regular, no-strings sex sounds great. However, his girlfriend doesn't know he's bisexual, and I'd feel uncomfortable having s...[MORE]

Savage for a day: A guests host joins the fun

By Dan Savage

Published: 1/20/2010

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I have a problem. A key part of my problem, I feel, is that I'm a recovering anorexic and I am still struggling a great deal to eat normal and healthy portions of food. A friend and I have recently become "friends with benefits." He lives very far away, so we primarily indulge through I...[MORE]

Untying your tongue: How to open up to 'hot girls' and more

By Dan Savage

Published: 1/13/2010

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a 34-year-old straight, single female. I have a fantasy I can't find much about online, so I figured I'd ask you for advice. My fantasy is to be blindfolded, bent over a table, couch or whatever, and fucked by whoever happens to walk by. I realize this would have to take place in a safe env...[MORE]

Role-playing games: The ones that don't involve many-sided dice, anyway

By Dan Savage

Published: 1/6/2010

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a queer lady in my 20s. My boyfriend and I recently discovered that we are both into BDSM. We started with some light bondage and spanking, added some role-play, and are moving toward some heavier stuff. I've spent some time reading online BDSM erotica, and here's what's stressing me out: I ...[MORE]

Kisses, fails & farts: Perceived betrayals, fake 'open' relationships and eproctophilia

By Dan Savage

Published: 12/30/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: Set me straight. I married my wife several months ago after dating for three years. Things are generally excellent, except for one problem: When my wife gets drunk, she gets crazy flirtatious. She'll dance close to people, touch them, hold hands. A couple of times, I thought it went too far and I...[MORE]

Cruisin' for a bruisin': Should I meet anonymously with this trucker I met online?

By Dan Savage

Published: 12/23/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a woman who wants to be spanked. But I'm overweight and self-conscious. Men who like to spank women like to spank petite women. Sometimes I'll search kinky personal sites or other online forums and find someone who might want to spank me. But I get scared and I back out. Most recently, I've b...[MORE]

Where the kinks are: Dan is in a lot of pain ... and knows some of you get off on that

By Dan Savage

Published: 12/16/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I've been married four years and have a beautiful baby boy with my husband. I enjoy sex a lot, even a bit of BDSM. My husband, on the other hand, isn't "driven by sex," as he likes to put it, and will try tying me up if that's what I "really want." You'd think if he wasn't dri...[MORE]

Their sole issue: If I can't love her feet, is that a deal-breaker?

By Dan Savage

Published: 12/9/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a 23-year-old male who has been in a relationship with a great woman for four years now. She is an amazing person, and we often talk about marriage. The issue is this: I have a foot fetish and she is fully aware of it. She doesn't like the idea of me kissing her feet or indulging my fetish i...[MORE]

Faulty motives: Why do you want to drop the dime on that cheater, anyway?

By Dan Savage

Published: 12/2/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a longtime reader who thought I'd never have a reason to write since I'm universally known as the "good girl," but I'm not sure who else I can turn to. I have a close male friend. Even though I knew he was dating someone else, we became friends-with-benefits several years ago. Becau...[MORE]

A little bent: Tales of straight and gay who mix it up a bit

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/25/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a 29-year-old single straight man. Over the past year, I have become very close friends with a gay man close to my age. We have a blast hanging out, and I value our friendship. Four months ago, he told me that he had developed romantic feelings for me and said he needed a little space to sav...[MORE]

Do it where you eat: Workplace hook-up scenarios analyzed for your reading pleasure

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/18/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a happily married, happily nonmonogamous male. We are not wild swinger types. For us it's more about the fact that monogamy does not work than about nailing everything that walks by. Anyway, I have encountered an odd situation a few times now, and again last night, where I'll be flirting wit...[MORE]

Locking him up: On wanting to put her domineering husband in a chastity belt

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/11/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a 30-year-old woman, married for five years to a man eight years my senior. Lately I have become more aware that I am turned on by the idea of bondage, specifically men locked up in chastity devices. I am ashamed of myself because it seems, well, pretty perverse and disturbed. My husband is...[MORE]

Finding a hot third: The problems of having him pick her out for you both

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/4/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 20-year-old girl, and I've been dating my boyfriend, who is 23, for two years. From the get-go, he has known that I am bi, and like most straight guys, he's happy to be with a girl who likes girls. The thing is, I am too shy to go out and hit on a girl. Getting a man was the easy part, but...[MORE]

Too weird to believe: Online courting includes demands too odd even for Dan

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/28/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who has been married four times — once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who've turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: He's 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt lifestyle an...[MORE]

Taking the plunge: Getting a handle on stimulating Uranus

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/21/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a straight teenage male, but I can't climax unless I am stimulating my anus or rectum. I use various objects, such as cucumbers. The reason I don't buy a toy is that I live in a very religious household and my parents would disown me if they found a sex toy in my room. I take a toilet plunge...[MORE]

Heavily bound: Submissive boyfriend is willing to pack on pounds. Isn’t that unhealthy?

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/14/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 25-year-old girl dating a 26-year-old guy. My boyfriend identifies as sexually submissive. He likes to be tied up, put in women's underwear and locked in a chastity device, and he has a strong urge to please. I hate the term, but I suppose you could call me a "feeder." I am turned...[MORE]

To have and withhold

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/7/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: My partner and I have a dilemma. We're a straight couple. Our lives and finances are intertwined, and we are already essentially living as a married couple. Now we want to hold a ceremony with family and friends to make public the commitment we've already made privately. That said, we are in fav...[MORE]

Complications ensue: Sticky situations and how to face them directly

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/30/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: About a month ago, I got drunk and slept with my friend's girlfriend. (He's not my best friend, more of a second-tier friend.) We both swore never to tell anyone and left it at that. Only problem is, we've been hanging out a lot lately and sending private messages to each other multiple times a d...[MORE]

You call that sex?: Or were we just naked and having fun?

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/23/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: You are known far and wide as an arbiter of all aspects of sex and especially definitions of sex, so we are hoping that you can give your definitive opinion on an interesting conundrum. My wife and I were recently regaling each other with anecdotes from our past, and she easily had the most inte...[MORE]

Porno problem: I don't want him looking at porn, but the idea turns me on

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/16/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year. He knows I am an insecure person when it comes to my body. I'm not overweight, I've been told my whole life how good-looking I am, and my boyfriend tells me he loves my body. We have an active and interesting sex life. Here is my problem: I...[MORE]

Brand spanking new: It's not just the act — you've got to find lovin' actors

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/9/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: As a 43-year-old single gay guy, I recently had my first spanking experience and am now feeling extreme guilt and self-loathing. I was in a very long-term vanilla relationship for most of my adult life and never got to experience anything remotely kinky, but I've had an interest in it. Long stor...[MORE]

Ups, downs, changes: Breakups, sexchanges and ear kinks

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/2/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I love my boyfriend of three years, but I fucked up. We've had our ups and downs — he broke up with me for two months last summer because he said he was "young and needs to feel free" — but we've always worked through things. He is super supportive of me, and we've both real...[MORE]

We love you, Dan!: Letters of support pour in after would-be fag-basher's thuggish note.

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/26/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: There was a letter in your column recently that must have been painful for you to receive. I refer to the letter signed God Hates You. I'm sure you're no stranger to hate mail, being an openly gay sex-advice columnist, but I hope you get fan mail too. But just in case: I wanted you to know that y...[MORE]

Matrimony for three: On opening up the connubial bed to guests

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/19/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I just turned 20 and have been out of the closet for a year. A lesbian friend wants to hook me up with her gay friend — let's call him Kyle — a cute, fit boy who runs track and does theater. The issue is that he's just 17 and starting his senior year in high school, while I am enterin...[MORE]

Snappy answers: Quick quips for labored queries, and one long answer

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/12/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: Do you think post-op transgender people have any obligation to tell their lovers they were once the other sex? —On The Fence A: Yes. Q: I'm in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine years is no longer interested in sex. Period. She relents every few weeks, but it's never enjoyable for...[MORE]