Browse Culture Stories

Do it where you eat: Workplace hook-up scenarios analyzed for your reading pleasure

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/18/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a happily married, happily nonmonogamous male. We are not wild swinger types. For us it's more about the fact that monogamy does not work than about nailing everything that walks by. Anyway, I have encountered an odd situation a few times now, and again last night, where I'll be flirting wit...[MORE]

Locking him up: On wanting to put her domineering husband in a chastity belt

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/11/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a 30-year-old woman, married for five years to a man eight years my senior. Lately I have become more aware that I am turned on by the idea of bondage, specifically men locked up in chastity devices. I am ashamed of myself because it seems, well, pretty perverse and disturbed. My husband is...[MORE]

Finding a hot third: The problems of having him pick her out for you both

By Dan Savage

Published: 11/4/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 20-year-old girl, and I've been dating my boyfriend, who is 23, for two years. From the get-go, he has known that I am bi, and like most straight guys, he's happy to be with a girl who likes girls. The thing is, I am too shy to go out and hit on a girl. Getting a man was the easy part, but...[MORE]

Too weird to believe: Online courting includes demands too odd even for Dan

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/28/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who has been married four times — once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who've turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: He's 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt lifestyle an...[MORE]

Taking the plunge: Getting a handle on stimulating Uranus

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/21/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a straight teenage male, but I can't climax unless I am stimulating my anus or rectum. I use various objects, such as cucumbers. The reason I don't buy a toy is that I live in a very religious household and my parents would disown me if they found a sex toy in my room. I take a toilet plunge...[MORE]

Heavily bound: Submissive boyfriend is willing to pack on pounds. Isn’t that unhealthy?

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/14/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 25-year-old girl dating a 26-year-old guy. My boyfriend identifies as sexually submissive. He likes to be tied up, put in women's underwear and locked in a chastity device, and he has a strong urge to please. I hate the term, but I suppose you could call me a "feeder." I am turned...[MORE]

To have and withhold

By Dan Savage

Published: 10/7/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: My partner and I have a dilemma. We're a straight couple. Our lives and finances are intertwined, and we are already essentially living as a married couple. Now we want to hold a ceremony with family and friends to make public the commitment we've already made privately. That said, we are in fav...[MORE]

Complications ensue: Sticky situations and how to face them directly

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/30/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: About a month ago, I got drunk and slept with my friend's girlfriend. (He's not my best friend, more of a second-tier friend.) We both swore never to tell anyone and left it at that. Only problem is, we've been hanging out a lot lately and sending private messages to each other multiple times a d...[MORE]

You call that sex?: Or were we just naked and having fun?

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/23/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: You are known far and wide as an arbiter of all aspects of sex and especially definitions of sex, so we are hoping that you can give your definitive opinion on an interesting conundrum. My wife and I were recently regaling each other with anecdotes from our past, and she easily had the most inte...[MORE]

Porno problem: I don't want him looking at porn, but the idea turns me on

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/16/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year. He knows I am an insecure person when it comes to my body. I'm not overweight, I've been told my whole life how good-looking I am, and my boyfriend tells me he loves my body. We have an active and interesting sex life. Here is my problem: I...[MORE]

Brand spanking new: It's not just the act — you've got to find lovin' actors

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/9/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: As a 43-year-old single gay guy, I recently had my first spanking experience and am now feeling extreme guilt and self-loathing. I was in a very long-term vanilla relationship for most of my adult life and never got to experience anything remotely kinky, but I've had an interest in it. Long stor...[MORE]

Ups, downs, changes: Breakups, sexchanges and ear kinks

By Dan Savage

Published: 9/2/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I love my boyfriend of three years, but I fucked up. We've had our ups and downs — he broke up with me for two months last summer because he said he was "young and needs to feel free" — but we've always worked through things. He is super supportive of me, and we've both real...[MORE]

We love you, Dan!: Letters of support pour in after would-be fag-basher's thuggish note.

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/26/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: There was a letter in your column recently that must have been painful for you to receive. I refer to the letter signed God Hates You. I'm sure you're no stranger to hate mail, being an openly gay sex-advice columnist, but I hope you get fan mail too. But just in case: I wanted you to know that y...[MORE]

Matrimony for three: On opening up the connubial bed to guests

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/19/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I just turned 20 and have been out of the closet for a year. A lesbian friend wants to hook me up with her gay friend — let's call him Kyle — a cute, fit boy who runs track and does theater. The issue is that he's just 17 and starting his senior year in high school, while I am enterin...[MORE]

Snappy answers: Quick quips for labored queries, and one long answer

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/12/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: Do you think post-op transgender people have any obligation to tell their lovers they were once the other sex? —On The Fence A: Yes. Q: I'm in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine years is no longer interested in sex. Period. She relents every few weeks, but it's never enjoyable for...[MORE]

Deceiving appearances: Dishonest online photos, missing body parts and more

By Dan Savage

Published: 8/5/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I met my girlfriend about three months ago on a social-networking website. The pictures made her look attractive and in shape. We texted each other nonstop for the first three months. This past weekend we met, and she didn't look anything like her pictures. However, we did still have sex twice. I...[MORE]

Going nowhere slow: What to do when you can't get any

By Dan Savage

Published: 7/29/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: This question comes from a point of real frustration. I'm a 26-year-old straight guy. Due to my being overweight, awkward and generally unable to attract women I'm actually interested in, I have only been sexually intimate with prostitutes and women of low caliber. I have never been able to susta...[MORE]

Family trouble: Don't let those family members grind you down

By Dan Savage

Published: 7/22/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a straight guy, and my first girl was very experienced — she was proud to say she'd been with at least 30 guys before me. When all was said and done, she said that I was the most well-endowed of any man she'd seen before. In all my subsequent experiences, the women I've been with have ...[MORE]

Get off the cross: Oh, stop whining. There's no god. Have some fun for a change.

By Dan Savage

Published: 7/15/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: You were recommendED to me by an acquaintance familiar with your column and Podcast. Lacking other resources at this particular moment, I have decided to write to you. I am a 20-year-old male, and as such have certain desires that almost all 20-year-old males have (desires of a sexual nature). Ho...[MORE]

Backing it up: Foxy Frenchman wants to fly me in, but I'm a bit leery

By Dan Savage

Published: 7/8/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: Here's a hypothetical for you: You've been corresponding with a handsome young man who lives in Paris. You know him through a friend in France, and your friend has vetted him. He has offered to pay more than half of your airfare so that you can visit him in Paris. You've spoken to him on the phon...[MORE]

Tie me down!: Should I bring my ex in on a threesome to teach my man how to dom?

By Dan Savage

Published: 7/1/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm a 25-year-old straight female. I've been dating my boyfriend for only a few months, but we fell in love fast. He is a caring person, and I want to make this last. However, he doesn't turn me on. It has nothing to do with looks — he's gorgeous — but rather with the fact that I am s...[MORE]

Tricky kink? Try this.: Toss my salad, but please, no kissing afterward

By Dan Savage

Published: 6/24/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a fairly successful man. I don't make bank like Wall Streeters back in the day, but I haven't been hungry since college. My girlfriend is younger. We met when she was in grad school. Like many recent grads, she isn't steadily employed, she's in debt and she drives an unsafe car. So I support...[MORE]

Love Hurts: Can you break up with somebody without hurting them?

By Dan Savage

Published: 6/17/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I'm going to say up front that I know I am a complete and total asshole. I have been with my current boyfriend for about three years and we are living together. About a year ago, our relationship started to go bad when I found out I was pregnant and ended up having an abortion. Every time I look...[MORE]

Unlucky streak: After getting down, some unfortunate brown

By Dan Savage

Published: 6/10/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I am a 28-year-old straight woman who has been dating a 24-year-old straight male for two months. Recently, I gave him oral sex while he was seated naked on my couch. The next day, as I went to sit on the couch, I noticed a brown stain on the cushion that looked highly suspicious. I have come to ...[MORE]

Wedding balls: A good case of coming to one's senses

By Dan Savage

Published: 6/3/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together over eight months. We really love each other, and I see us spending our lives together. At least I did, until something he said a few days ago. Long story short, for the last five months or so, he's brought up marriage. Then a few days ago he informed me tha...[MORE]

About face

By Dan Savage

Published: 5/27/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Q: I have a problem with my happiness; he is a wonderful man who has a beauty that overwhelms me; we have a beautiful home; I am monogamous for the first time in a decade. But I just learned that I am the spitting image of a man in jail for raping my boyfriend. He says he is not in a place to d...[MORE]

Quick & dirty

By Dan Savage

Published: 5/20/2009

Types: Culture, Love & sex

Dear readers: I regard this column as a sacred tryst. Your faith in my counsel and willingness to take me into your confidence moves and humbles me on a daily basis, and the seriousness with which I approach my chosen profession would normally prevent me from turning your letters over to a bun...[MORE]