Metro Times Sex Survey

Metro Times Sex Survey Results

1. What's love got to do with it?

2. How much of your identity is wrapped up in sex? Is it OK not to be sexual in our society?

3. What are you most afraid that a partner might think about you?

5. OK, truthfully, what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done sexually? What won't you do again?

7. How has porn affected you? Has it affected the way you look at the world.

8. Do you consider yourself a good lover? Why? Why not?

9. Do you have something sexual you'd like to say/confess/get off your chest to a past or present lover?

10. What do you know now that you wish you'd known earlier?

Sex

Orientation

Age

Number of times you have sex with partners monthly:

Number of partners monthly:

Number of times you have sex alone monthly:

Name

Not a damn thing!

Just ask my coworkers!

I am not sexy.

Monogamy. Yes, i have been checked.

N/A and nothing.

Yes, I have.

I love porn, it's funny.

Oh yeah, practice!

I am sexual.

Swallow!

Female

100

4-6

Barbie

Very little at all...

No... The one who has the most sex wins. We are only animals and the only reason we are here is to procreate i.e. fuck...

That she has t have it more than four times a day...

I don't... I don't... No

Sex club... fucking in a group... same sex encounter...

there is no such thing... have I ever what?

It showed me things I didn't know were possible... I squint now...

Yes... The girls come, and then they come back..

nope...

anal rocks...

Male

Straight

100

3-4

Tim

Nothing to do with sex; sex can happen without love - I believe they call it lust, fun, fun, fun!

It's OK not to be sexual in our society - but that doesn't work for everyone especially not me

Nothing really.

I get tested, talk at some point before - really just ask, it's not difficult at all...

Drilled by a strap-on from my girl while getting blown by a stranger we just met. (I'd do that again)

Cheating varies, but for me, emotional involvement with a third party - yes I have.

Love porn - hasn't changed how I look at the world, just at my computer...

Yes I am - I take time to please; emotionally, mentally and physically - even if it is just for a one-niter...I love to give woman pleasure.

Nope

There are more woman out there looking for just sex than you think.

Male

Straight

99+

6-8

Let's Get It On

Nothing

Not much; There are lots of ways to be entertainted. It is the prime way of expressign intimacy. It's ok to be sexually inactive.

Ugly

Do my wife.

Anal. S/a

Fucking someone outiside a monogomous relationship yes.

I love porn. It really has taught me a lot about sex. I also find it to be stimulating. I do think it makes me think that women love sex.

Yes; because I am interested in giving as much as getting.

Nothing.

Male

Straight

Nothing.

A lot. Sex is a very imprtant part of my life. Yes it's ok, but please don't preach to me about it.

That I'm too sexually adventurous.

Married. Not an issue.

Male to male oral in front of my wife

Sexual encounters without partner knowledge.

Positively. I'm not addicted, but enjoy it.

Yes. it's more important to me to provide partner satisfaction over my own.

No.

Male

100

nothing

20% of my identity. I think it is okay to not be sexual

crazy

use condoms. i dont. no

just used toys. i am game for anything

going out with someone that is not your wife or girlfriend. yes

has not affected me. no

yes. i always please my mate

how come we did not do that

nothing

Male

Straight

Love is great, but sex is something complete different.

Its perfectly healthy to have a strong libido in society today, but just be careful where and who you stick your whanker.

That I'm too wild to be considered "normal". I still don't think men are truly okay with a woman they respect having too much fun in the sack.

Say it with me Condom! I'm a woman, so no condom, no nookie.

Having sex in a car and getting caught by the police. I won't ever have a one-night stand again.

Cheating is anything physically sexual with another person. Tell Hilary that her hubby did cheat on her, no matter how she wants to slice it.

I think soft porn is pretty mainstream these days. If anyone denies it, then they're just plain prudish.

Yes, but doesn't everybody.

I don't always think about you when we're having sex.

That you can be more powerful by not giving it up quickly when you first start dating somone.

Female

Straight

Margret

I always ask if my partner is clean and I use condoms.

a 3-way.

Having a long-term relatinship and then stepping out with someone else without the significant partern knowing about it. that's cheating.

I love gay porn, its the best thing about the internet because its so readily available.

Definitely! I give the best blow jobs and can deep throat really big cocks which my partners just love.

Yes.

That its okay to be open about my being gay.

Male

Gay

100

Matt

A lot

Yes, it's okay not to be sexual in our society today. It actually may save your life now a days.

Too conservative

IT hasn't, no.

Female

Straight

Absence

LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, OTHER THAT TELLING YOUR PARTNER THAT YOU LOVE WHAT HE/SHE IS DOING RIGHT NOW!

NO! SEX IS AS IMPORTANT AS BREATHING

THAT I'M A LOUSY LAY

CONDOMS A MUST, TESTING WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.

MY GIRL GIVING IT TO ME WITH A STRAPON, IS THE KINKIEST ORAL SEX WITH A MAN, NEVER AGAIN

CHEATING IS INEVITABLE, WE ARE SEXUAL CREATURES JUST DOING THE ACTIVITY OF SEX. IT GETS BORING EATING THE SAME APPLE PIE EVEYDAY , SO TO SPEAK

SINCE THE INTERNET, PORN IS MORE MAINSTREAM, I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, I THINK EROTICA IS HEALTHY

A BIT ABOVE AVERAGE, PROBABLY DUE TO EXPERIENCE DUE TO MY AGE, IVE TRIED JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING AT LEAST ONCE

I HAVE HAD A BISEXUAL ENCOUNTER

I WISH I KNEW THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT SEX

Male

Straight

100

John

There are three levels to intercourse Making Love Having Sex Fucking

It used to be a lot, but as I get older, it is more about pleasing just my partners, not notches on my stilletoes.

That I can't satisfy him. No complaints.

Actually I am positive, and my partners are aware.

Had sex on the 50 yard line @ my college's football stadium. Take a large one in the ass. Hemmoroids aren't worth it.

Having an intimate relationship w/ someone other than my significant other. I am cheating now.

I love porn. I like watching other people having sex.

I am blessed to be a good lover. They always come back.

I would like my significant other to be more eager to step out of his comfort zone.

That I didn't need to sleep w/ so many people to find my self worth.

Female

Straight

150

Wolfpussy

Nothing at all - love does not exist. It is a fantasy that we tell children to sell big fluffy gowns and overprices cake.

Gender is an absolute necessity. Sex, is not. Having sex is taken forg ranted.

That I'm fat.

Condoms are a part of the forplay - always, everytime. Tested for broad range of STIs every 3 months.

the orgy in a hotel room. I would never have sex on the beach again - too much sand

When the other person thinks that the 2, 3 or 4 of you are in a monogomous relationship. No.

It has made me more creative. Not really - I don't go around thinking about everyone I see as sexual.

No - although I've never had any complaints, I have absolutely no self esteem.

Astroglide.

Male

Mic

Love means you'll get on a more regular basis, but trysts are way hotter

I'm pretty sexual, and I think most young people are sexual, but the majority of older people seem to be hung up on sex

I'm too small, and I don't last long enough to get her off, and I'm too old for her

I use condoms, and I get tested once a year at least

Golden shower in the shower, hand cuffs, whips, sex in a cemetary, annilingus....I probably won't try to anal some girl without lube again

Kissing someone else, or more, and yes, I have cheated

Not sure, except I think it got me into rough sex

Sometimes, depends on how long I last. I think communicating, asking her what she likes makes me better

Why do girls (or women) over the age of 25 seem to be such a pain in the ass sexually? Just go with the flow!

Tongue flicking is the best way to get a girl off, and it's better for you in the long run if she gets hers before you get yours

Male

Straight

Joe

Not as much as I thought when I was much younger.

Very little of my identity is outwardly sexual. Sex in our society is often used as measure of success and a gage of self-worth. I didn't get laid last night and I'm not getting laid tonight. I am surprisingly comfortable with my lack of sex appeal.

My girlfriends have been mostly better educated than I am, more productively creative, and far more attractive. I'm afraid that any second they'll find out what a dork I am and the fanboy thing isn't just for comedic effect like in a kevin smith movie or something. I usually don't care what my casual partners think.

I've been tested but not habitually. Condoms are essential to avoid unplanned pregnancy, STD's, and for longevity and performance. I am actually not comfortable without them and they are cheaper than kids so...

I will never understand anal sex... ever.

I never have. I have facilitated an act of cheating which is just as bad.

I haven't enjoyed much porn. I find the naked male figure to be revolting. Furthermore, pornography over-emphasizes dominance in a sexual relationship. I don't enjoy having my ass slapped and I wouldn't do it to you.

I do consider myself a good lover. I think most men don't realize that it is not an act of subservience to make sure your partner is satisfied first. They most surely will make it up to you. The hardest part for me is getting to first base. I'm very comfortable after that.

Past lover... I loved you. Sorry I never told you.

"Be careful who you pretend to be. Because that's who you are." - Kurt Vonnegut

Male

Straight

Mike

Not a lot if you ask me. Love and sex are two completely different things. If either person in a relationship doesn't understand this, it's destined for an explosive ending.

Sure, it's OK not to be sexual, if that's your thing. But don't expect to keep someone in a relationship unless the other person feels the same way. To me, sex is a huge part of the package. If you're not putting out sex, then I'm not putting out my time.

Honestly? Penis size. I'm not huge by any stretch of the imagination, but do like to think I can hold my own. But I also know that my girl has been with hung guys in the past. So it's always in the back of my mind of whether or not she's sizing me up.

I have been tested and try to practice safe sex unless I know the person and we're in agreement otherwise.

I won't toe fuck anyone again. The arch between your big toe and the next toe is kinda sensitive. Putting all that weight down on it doesn't feel too good. Plus, what do I get out of shoving my toe up inside her? The kinkiest thing happened at one of those adult theaters. I was in the backroom watching a porn on the big screen. In walked this couple and they sat in the front row. The girl started going down on him. So I walked up to where they were sitting and started jerking off. Neither of them seemed to mind, so I took care of business and popped my load on her as she was still giving head. I left a happy man.

Sure I have. To be honest, it's kinda a turn-on to cheat. Doing something you're not supposed to be doing is always a taboo. But just cuz I cheat doesn't mean I love my girlfriend any less. It's just sex.

I'm a porn junkie. I have a huge collection. I jerk off to porn about three times a day. Unfortunately, my girl isn't into it as much as I am. I wish I could find a girl who liked nasty porn as much as I do. There's nothing better than jerking off watching a girl getting off while you're both watching porn. I wouldn't say it's affected the way I look at the world. Porn is a get-away to sometimes experience things that you don't get to in real life. Fantasies are always a good thing.

I think so. I try to learn what my partner likes and do my best to get her off first. But, if I get off first, sometimes it's over. So I always try to get her off first or risk leaving her unsatisfied in the end.

When I was young, I had an older woman who was really into me. I stayed with her longer than I wanted to because she bought me nice things. She's probably my one and only sugar momma, so I milked it for all I could.

That women CAN come (squirt) and it's every man's job to make sure to try his damnest to get his girl to do it.

Male

Straight

Chad

Nothing at all. You can have really great sex without love...and vice versa.

I don't think any of my identity is wrapped up in sex. I am not defined by my sexual kinks and am only sexual when I choose to be.

That I may not be open to indulging in his/her fantasies.

I use condomes. I come right out and open the discussion about AIDS. I get tested once a year.

Define kinky. I pobably will not let another partner rub shit on my body so he can eat it off.

Cheating is when you assure someone that you are in an exclusive, monogamus relationship and then have sex with someone else, while still in the relationship. I've cheated more than a few times.

Porn is entertainment and has no affect on the way I view the world.

I consider myself a good lover because I aim to satisfy my sex partner totally and have fun while doing it.

No.

I wish I had known that you do not have to have love, a relationship or even a casual acquaintance with the person you have great sex with.

Male

Keith

Nothin. Actually, the less you love someone, the hotter the sex. But respect is essential.

Yes, you can be non-sexual in this society. You can work for a corporation for 90 hours a week and be a soulless twat. My identity isn't wrapped up in sex, but then, I've never had much of an identity.

That I'm a bad kisser.

Always use a condom. I get tested about once every 8 months.

I've been in a 6-way groping/stroking session with 2 other gay men and 3 dykes. I recommend that everyone do it.

Yes...and I will again. Monogamy is not for me. Though I do inform potential boyfriends of this before things get serious.

Most porn is boring. I hope younger people aren't being influenced by it. I'd hate to think everyone will be as shitty a lay as the guys in porn are.

Yes, because sex is performance, and I think it's bad manners to put on a bad show for an audience. It's all based on the tenets of hospitality, really.

To all potential boyfriends: I am brutally honest, and I want you to be brutally honest, too.

No one gets laid by being a wallflower. I was too shy for too long. Oy, all the ass I could have had.

Male

Gay

35?

90% of the time I have to be in a relationship. But every now an then I just have to unleash the beast.

My idenity is somewhat sexual but not skanky. As far as society No, not completely. But in this day in age people are more open about their sexual desires.

Im pretty confident in that department! LOL!!

Condoms but once in a while I dont use them. That is why I get tested and go to the ob/gyn every 3months.

I had sex with my ex-boyfriends father while my boyfriend watched and masterbated.

Cheating is when you commit oral or intercourse with someone other than your partner. Unless your partner approved!!

Yes. There is some real freaky shit people do that I would not dare do nor could I comprehend how that could turn them on.

Yes. Why? Because I am a animal in the sack and after I do have sex with a guy it takes a police straining order to keep him away!!

No. They are aware of my closet FREAK!

Just because a person is good in bed, does not mean they are right for you.

Female

Straight

Robin

It means a lot more if love is involved. It can be fun otherwise, but doesn't carry any weight. It carries a LOT of weight if there's love behind it.

My personal identity isn't wrapped up in it, but I think our society's more than a little obsessed.

That I'm not creative in bed. (so I work on that, very hard)

Lesbians have a really, really low chance of getting STDs from each other. That said, I have been tested and so has my girlfriend.

One night stand. On both counts.

Intimate contact with someone who's NOT your significant other... I would count kissing (on the lips) among types of cheating. And no, I have never and will never.

It really hasn't affected me personally too much, except to give me some ideas of things to try with the gf. Incidentally, I find lesbian films of this type to be the worst...they're clearly aimed at straight men.

Yes, I do. I'm respectful of what she wants and needs, and can make things fun. "Anyone can be passionate. It takes a real lover to be silly."

"Yep, I'm gay."

See previous answer.

Female

Gay

10+

20+

Bean

A lot. I've been married for 8 years and sex has never been as good as when it's been with my wife even after all these years.

Nope.

Amateur porn at least has shown me that I don't have to have the perfect body or porn star equiptment to have fun.

Male

Straight

Larry

Very little at the base level. Americans have a really hard time remembering that we're animals, and sex is an animal need. With regard to quality, love gives it a powerful twist. But two people can share "passion' without love. It can be anger (have had some of my best sex when I was pissed at my boyfriend) or frustration or just angst in general. Love merely makes it more meaningful, perhaps less "animal," if that's how you want to look at it.

I think more people could use to get laid more often and stop being so uptight. Perhaps they would stop cutting ME off on the freeway and then giving ME the finger! Sex to me is an important element in what completes us (food, water, air, etc.). If you're not into sex in it's most literal element, you're still into it some other way... even old ladies flirt. Sex is the exchange of chemistry beyond "how ya doin," with varying levels of execution, whether it's a smile, wink, phone number or gittin it on.

That my openness and love for social and sexual exchange between males and females (or whatever your thing is) means I'm promiscuous or not faithful. I'm monogamous, but could care less (and even cheer on) people who have no commitment and want to enjoy themselves safely and with common sense. And I hate when my men get jealous because I have a flirtatious personality... trust me or kiss my ass.

If I were not married, I'd use the entire armory of drug store tools to keep me from getting that nasty shit. At this point, I trust that my husband is polite when out of town and got a vasectomy keeping me from having to use a damn condom! (I do admit, they suck.)

A vegetable. And the second answer is the same as the first.

Cheating is sharing a loving relationship where your heart is for no one else, and betraying it with another. I don't think I cheated, though I had sex while married... the marriage was on the outs (and I found out he was doing it, too), and my heart was definitely empty of a mate and up for grabs (pardon the pun).

Porn is like watching Animal Planet, only watching your particular breed and getting a reminder that it's not the worst way to spend the next hour or so. Other than maybe picking up a new technique or two, sex is not a "spectator sport" to me. Americans live through their televisions, watching people out in the world doing things they can't do sitting on their asses. This is the one thing you CAN do sitting on your ass, and not watching somebody else do it. Turn the dvd off and get busy living!

Why yes, I do. Being passionate in life brings out a passion in the bedroom... being manic by nature with a short attention span does the same. And it seems to work out pretty well for the guy.

Not really. Do we have to share EVERYTHING? It's important to keep an identity of my own. I'm faithful, and that's what counts.

Not much in this topic. Otherwise, who doesn't wish that?

Female

Straight

kittylipschitz

Everything.

It's okay, but it would be hard (no pun intended).

She's faking it.

Condoms - Trojan nonlubricated. My partner and I are monogamous, and were both raised in the "Do not have sex, you will get an STD and you WILL die." society - so we were both more than willing to talk about actual implications. I've never been tested, but I don't have an extremely sordid history to dredge through.

So far, the kinkiest thing (sadly) is tying him up and then letting him tie me up (with furry handcuffs, natch). Never again: Breast torture (funny how I don't consider that the kinkiest thing).

Cheating is going outside of an established relationship for physical sex (i.e. oral counts) of any kind. I have never.

It really has, because I'm much more likely to look at it when in a sex shop, and even consider watching it. It does help as a turn-on, but it's not 100% necessary... and it also helps both my partner and I to have a sense of humor about sex. (Anyone who's seen "Pirates" laugh along with me when I say 'Twin Hellfire Cannons')

I'm pretty good, giving, and game. Sometimes, I'm out for my own fun more than his, but it usually works out pretty well. (I also give myself bonus points for not being the bitch that won't let him have his fun if I'm out of commission for a weekend a month, though we do try to plan around that.)

You have a tiny penis. Very very tiny. I do hope that you're happy, but I think that you and your little guy need to crawl back to your previous male lovers and not be such a bastard in life as you are.

Anything I learned from Ask Isadora, Sue Johanson, and Dan Savage.

Female

Straight

Day

Love is not necessary for great sex nor does it amazing encounters. Sometimes

I seem to exude a large amount of sexual energy which often attracts sexually adventurous women, but also may repel more guarded females. No it is expected for you to at least feel some way about sex.

That because I am aggressive in terms of sex that I do not respect them as women.

Condoms during sex. Nothing during oral sex. Try to be as open and direct as possible. Yes I get tested twice a year.

Received oral sex in church. It was my first time and I was 14, but no I would not do it again.

Anything you would never do in front of your significant other. Yes, often and well.

I have learned a lot from erotic literature. It was essentially the same as getting honest, explicit, advice from an older woman in terms of how to please women at the age of 12. Although I did not understand everything, my sub-conscious did.

Yes. I don't know why I am it is probably more so instinct and thoughtfulness. In addition I have really low inhibitions which makes me open for anything almost.

I wish I tried to fuck my ex in the ass. It would have been a great experience for us to share. She was my first love and I wish she was my first in everything.

Girls will tell other girls if you suck.

Male

Straight

Viva LaJet

In my opinion, love has very little to do with sex, although, if you are "in love" with the other party, the sex will be enhanced.

My identity is not defined by sex. However, if you are an adult and not sexual, you need your head examined.

Nothing

Since AIDS is real, I protect myself with condoms. I openly discuss the subject of STD's, with whomever I'm involved. Yes, I get tested every year, despite being married.

I let my previous partner urinate while "riding" me. She initially orgasmed, and from the force of that orgasm, she subsequently released her bladder (which I encouraged).

Cheating is engaging in sexual activity, that your mate is unaware of, and would not condone. However, if you have your partners permission to venture outside of the relationship, then it's not cheating.

Porn has made my wife's life a much easier! Since I have porn, I don't have to soley rely on my wife to please me, thus allowing her to rest peacefully during the nights which she has a "headache"! (LOL)

I consider myself a great lover, but, not because of the traditional "guy" reasons. I'm a great lover because I aim to completely satisfy the female first, before I even consider "getting mine".

I wish my current wife and I had sex earlier in the relationship, therefore, my judgement on our future wouldn't of been clouded by love. (LOL) Note: See question #10.

I wish I'd known how dormant my wife's vagina was, prior to falling in love with her. While dating, she made me wait almost 2 years before we had sex. We eventually had sex, and I realized it was blase', nevertheless, I was already in love with her, and 3 years later we married. At the time, I felt I couldn't break up with her, solely because the "pussy " wasn't good. However, in retrospect, I often question that decision.

Male

Straight

50+

Patience

everything

probably less than the norm among gay men. if it's okay for both partners, then it's fine.

that my girth is more offensive than my sexuality is hot.

monogamous sex

sex on the beach, anywhere in the world

extrarelationship sex or dallying

porn is fun!

i'm ready and willing i want my partner to enjoy himself

i didn't do it.

time goes by too fast. i wish i'd explored more, earlier.

Male

Gay

sveri

Love has alot to do w/ it because it makes the intimacy all the better.

None of my identity is wrapped into sex. It's Ok not to be sexual in our society. However, it depends on the person.

I'm not afraid of anything that my partner may think of me because we're open to sex.

My partner and I have been together for almost six years so, we're comfortable enough to have raw sex.

I've used sex toys on my partner anally. Yes, I would definitely do it again.

Cheating is when your partner doesn't know you're entangled in another relationship (sexually or emotionally).

Porn has affected me at all. In fact my partner and I enjoy watching it and learning a thing or two.

Yes, I consider myself a damn good lover. I cater to my partner's needs and put 'em to sleep. Rock 'a' bye baby!

I've said all I need to say to both my past and present lovers.

I wish that I would've known that my first was bi-sexual.

Female

Straight

30+

20+

Brandi

everything and nothing

very little. yes.

homosexuality

condoms. humor. no.

oral sex with a stripper. hell no.

sex outside marraige. no.

opened my eyes. somewhat.

yes. she was unconscious by the end.

alcohol does not make you a better lover.

Male

Straight

Paco

Not necessarily anything. There's nothing like raw carnal sex and not even knowing if the name the chick gave you was a real one. Man I miss being stationed in San Diego.

It's ok not to be sexual. I say do what you need to do. As far as my identity it's not noticably wrapped in sex to the layman, but once you get me behind closed doors, almost anything is game.

I'm a little too freaky or too vanilla. I like vanilla sex, but I also like to break out the BDSM gear. I'm not a lifestyle person, just a dabbler, but I do carry a dragon's tongue in my car because you never know when some fetish action will take place.

I don't have enough sexual partners to really worry about that. I do get tested every time I do have sex though.

Well, I was fingering one chick while I was banging another. That's about it unless you count the BDSM stuff, like spankings and asphyixiation. As for what I won't do again, I'll never go down on a guy again. I tried it to see if I was attracted to men or if I just found certain men attractive. I realized after he came that I have enough problems dealing with my own penis that I don't need to bring another one into the mix.

Yeah, again San Diego. My now ex fiancee was living in Lansing while I was stationed there. I couldn't help myself, there was just so much ass.

Not really. To be honest I don't really look at porn. I mean why look unless you can touch.

I'm not too bad. If a partner puts in as much effort as I do it makes me want to try harder, but if they're a dead fish I just want to get my rocks off and go.

Nope. I've been pretty open with them.

Most girls want to be treated like porn stars behind closed doors.

Male

Straight

Percifal

Love means that you know your partner more intimately than just a one-night stand. When you love someone, the turn-on is not just physical but mental as well.

We are fundamentally sexual beings, so it is hard to ignore what we are. We may go about our business on a daily basis, doing our jobs, grocery shopping, etc., but that sex drive is always present. No one can ignore the fact that when you first meet someone, the initial impression is the gender of the person.

My life is an open book to my lover. I won't lie to them about anything. I figure if they are going to love me, then they should know all the things about me. That way they don't waste their time if I am not the right person for them.

Condoms all the way. NOT talking about protection from STD's with your partner(s) is a real mood-kill. If someone I am dating won't use a condom, I won't date them. Yes, I have been tested & will be tested again in the future.

Kinkiest thing I have ever done? I don't smack & tell, LOL. But I will say this: I was a Dominatrix for 2 yrs. but retired from it because there were times when the hours were not stable. When you are a Domina, you like to have control over your life/situations. Sometimes you just don't feel like dressing up in 6" heels & a corset! I think people have a vision in their minds that Dominas are always running around the house in heels/corset. We are real people too, and sometimes we just like to have a day to sit around in sweat pants. Now I just prefer to use my kink with my partner so I can concentrate all my efforts on him.

Cheating is physically having sex (oral included) with another person. I will admit I cheated one time & felt really guilty about it so I never did it again.

I'm not a big fan of buying Porn, probably because at one time I lived in an Adult Entertainment world so it was my job. I have no regrets about Dominating professionally, and it actually opened my eyes to the "behind the scenes" aspect which is something not everyone got to see. I'll admit that being worshiped by someone felt really good because you feel really important. Even though I don't have that aspect in my life anymore, I have a deep appreciation for people in my life who go out of the way to do something for me, kink or not. I don't take any of it for granted because I realize that they are CHOOSING to help me & that they could be off doing something else. I'm very touched by that.

I would consider myself to be a good lover because I am not afraid to communicate with my lover. I think a lot of the reason Dominas have jobs is because there are a lot of people out there who feel that they can't share their fetishes with their lovers. There is so much more to sex than penetration & the mental stimulation aspect is often overlooked. If someone can get inside your head, they can lead you into a whole new arena of physical/emotional possibilities. That can be a real turn-on.

I have no regrets. I just wish them well.

Nothing. I think my life played out the way it needed to. I'm very happy with how things are now. Again, no regrets.

Female

Straight

Former Domina K

Nada. Sex has a life force of its own. Hell, sex is the life force manifest to action. Emotions can enhance that, but "love" more often than not justs screws it up.

Some. But a great deal of my sexual identity is wrapped up in sex. And there is more than a little of my sexual identity wrapped up in my identity, so.....

Just because its easy, doesn't mean its free.

Monogamy and testing. Safe sexual behaviour trumps safe sex. Sooner of later the condoms come off. This attitude has a tendancy to keep a poor performer in the game much longer than they deserve, but oh well.

Straight sex in a tree.

Sex outside of the relationship of record and yes.

It has been illuminating. It has validated urges and fetishes that were....earlier, troubling.

Oh yes. Will go to the mat to please.

Yeah. You have evolved wonderfully as a person and a woman. You have grown amazingly in your complexity and depth of character. You have fought your demons and have laid waste to old constrictions empowering yourself to a universe of possibilities! Sexually you are a dim flicker of a once blazing star. I liked you better before.

Monogamy destroys the motivating force of competition. Monogamy equals monopoly.

Male

Straight

6-8

Steve

makes sex more enjoyable at times. sometimes it complicates things more than its worth though.

my identity is not wrapped up in sex. if you are not sexual, people look at you as if there is a problem with you. some people dont feel sex is as important as other things in life.

that i am unattractive and they only have sex with me out of pity

I use condoms and communicate about std's with my partner. I bring this up when we are talking about sex. I get tested yearly with my exam.

Sex in public. Haven't done anything I wont try again.

Cheating is when you break boundaries you and your partner have established. This could be more than just sexual cheating. I have cheated on one partner.

Porn is hot. It affects the way I see other people because not every one is open minded like me. Some people see porn as bad because people are exposing themselves. I say if you got it, flaunt it if you feel comfortable enough to do so.

I do consider myself a good lover because I am not a selfish lover. I make sure I give my partner pleasure, sometimes before I recieve pleasture. It's not all about me, its about him too.

Ya, that one of them was really lousy and I dont see how his current gf can have sex with him.

I wish I had known more about HPV when I first became sexually active. Not much was known back then, not much is known now. More facts need to be told about HPV and more research needs to be done to figure this disease out.

Female

Straight

1-2

4-Feb

Sasha

Nothing...Never has. People need to get off of the love tip, and just get off!

Coming from Detroit (I live in the Washington DC Metro Area now) I was a little uptight about being sexual. MI is actually pretty uptight compared to other places I have been. I think it is because of all the churches. I think that women get a bad rap for being sexual (they shouldn't). Even men are dogs about it. They put down the sexually liberated chic and marry a nice church girl, only to cheat on the nice church girl with the sexually liberated one..Go figure!

That I am a whore (he knows I'm a freak...I think). I want to do a threesome...maybe a foursome...

Before we did anything, we both talked about our status. What we were looking for and expecting in having a sexual relationship (monogamous, SRS partner - Stress Relieving Sex, etc). Once we got through all that crap, we went to the local health department and got a comprehensive screening. We talked about past STD's and sat with a counselor to discuss how to best protect ourselves from them in the future. This was the first person that ever followed through with this with me, and I love him for it.

My old boyfriend and I were coming from Meadow Brook after a concert...traffic was too congested, so I decided to blow him...we ended up pulling over having sex in the car on the side of the express way...It was a great way to kill time while the traffic thinned out. I won't do anything in park or public restroom...

I think cheating is anything that your partner isn't aware of...It can be oral. I am pretty liberal...as long as you use protection and don't kiss...I don't get into all the ownership thing, though I think most of my partners have been pretty selfish with sharing.

I love porn...It hasn't affected the way I look at the world, other than wondering if my old preacher had a big collection, and wondering what kind of porn our politicians get off on. I think porn has liberated me, and given actually lowered a lot of hangups I have had in the past. I am also lucky because I get to work with porn in my current job. I actually don't look at it that much now (go figure)...I suppose it is like a doctor, seen one dick, seen them all...

I am a good lover, because I am open to trying new things. I am a pleaser, and I like to ask a lot of, "Do you like this" questions. I try to be in tune with my partner, and I like adapt to their thing...as long as they adapt to mine, which I have no problem telling a person to do this or do that...

I would like to say to Clint, that you were the best lover I ever had! I hate that it took me experiences after you, to come to this realization. I fantasize about you still. You were awesome, and I screwed it up. If only I could get you again, with what I know now. Didn't understand that sex is much better with a good partner that you actually love...I only ever loved you.

That everything that looks good ain't good for you. And sometimes, it ain't about the size. Some of the biggest dudes I have been with, have been the most awful sex partners...selfish, lazy, brutal, and have you ever gotten a squishy - oversexed! Ain't nothin worse than a big piece of meat that is too tired to stand at attention!

Male

Gay

Wallace

Sex is a wonderful thing but when there is love - it is a celestrial experience.

sex is an important part of my identy,but certaninly there are other parts of equal importance i.e compassion. In this society it sex is what sells just about anything. So, the choice tonot be sexual would be a difficult one.

Insensitivity

Getting tested and sharing the results with each other indicates that the partner is ready for intimacy with me. I approach the subject directly and early in the relationship. Yes, I test.

Had sex on a ride at disneyland. What wouldn't I do again - nothing.

Cheating is when there is an understanding of fidelity between partners. Yes, I have cheated.

Porn is quite liberating and stimulating as well. Yes, porn has brought support to my way of looking at sex - anything goes - except harmful acts.

Yes, I consider my self a good lover because I really get in toomy partner before we have sex. Then sex is special.

No.

That what happens between two adults is just fine!

Female

Straight

Marie

A lot. Love makes it all feel much better.

Some, and now, your sexual interest don't have to be shared. What is the ol' saying men want a Woman on the streets and a freak in the sheets.

Sex is supposed to be fun. I don't think about what he is going to think of me. If he is busy thinking anything other than about what we are doing, he is really missing out.

Condom....(I am married, so I am hoping this is a non-issue.

It depends on what is considered kinky. Sex in the bathroom on an airplane, anal....I would do everything I have done again and again.

Phone sex, interenet sex is all cheating and yes, I have cheated in the past and never will again.

I love porn. It helps spice things up sometimes. I would never be in a porn, but watching and re-inacting with my husband is always fun.

Yes- because my husband said so. Because I make love with him with passion.

Yes- my ex-husband needs to get a clue. I faked it the whole 10 years.

I wish I knew sooner what true love felt like.

Female

Straight

Everything when you get a bit older. Not much when you're young and everything turns you on.

Not much.

I'm boring.

Monogomous, so not anymore, but yes before the wedding.

Peanut butter and a virgin 5 years younger than me, with friends watching me deflower. Won't ever do that again.

Exchanging body fluids especially if it includes an emotional connectedness.

I think a lot of porn is just sad. Disconnecting the best part of sex from it all. Eroticism is way more interesting.

Not really. Too tired after the baby. Less functional in my 40s for quick fun, and it has to be planned.

Nope.

Just how dry a woman in her 40s can be. No fun.

Female

Straight

5-6

Boring mom

Can make it more comfortable and intimate rather than rough and risky!

Sexual innuendoes are non stop between my friends and I. It's ok to not be sexual in our society but it's not ok to try and force others to follow your lead.

This chicks hygene needs work.

Condoms ALWAYS!!! Get tested before anything happens. No test, no sex, simple as that!

Making out with someone else or doing anything sexual, not just the actual act. Never, I see no point in cheating since if you're that tempted by others you're most likely not that into your current partner and should just break up.

It hasn't affected me... It's a good way to waste time and have a good laugh though. I still see the world the same, porn is someones job, just like someone else is a waitress.

I'd hope so just because I'm open to new things and I'm not shy to talk about it either.

nope

Female

Straight

Liza

Very little if all you want is sexual release. Quite a lot if you are seeking a stable or permanent relationship.

Being gay, most people assume it is all about sex. Far from the truth, I rarely consider sex an important part of my identity. If I wasn't single, I might have a different point of view. I think being non-sexual is an excuse for some people, like those who claim to be cured of being gay. For teenagers celibacy can be a very smart choice.

That I am not good in bed because I don't have the body of a greek god.

If my partner doesn't raise the issue, sometimes I won't use protection. Usually a condom comes out, and it is a non-issue. Since I occasionally have bareback sex, I get tested regularly.

Pushing my arm deep into a guy's ass when he didn't douche before. It got quite messy, and scat is pretty disgusting.

My experince with relationships has never been longer than a couple of months, so cheating has never been an issue. The relationship died because of other reasons.

The only thing porn has done is to show me some kinky stuff I haven't thought of on my own.

I think so. I kind of play around with a guy until a get a reaction from him. Then I know whether it is something he likes or not. When he is gasping and groaning I assume things are going well.

No. The one woman I had a relationship with has known for years that I am gay. I told her that was the reason we broke up.

Everything! I was afraid of sex until my late 30s. Now I am much more confortable in my own skin.

Male

Gay

100

Not much. It's better when you're in love.....but not a necessity to have a great experience.

I am consumed by sexual thoughts and fantasizing. It is OK not to be sexual.....but how boring is that.

That I was not a good lover.

Married and committed to one partner. Do not get tested.

Had sex in public in front of strangers at Hedo 3 Resort in Jamaica.

Anything that you would not want your partner to find out about (includes on-line chatting, etc.)

I love great porn. Porn opens your eyes to what others find enjoyable even if you personally find it disgusting.

Good....yes. Great.....no. I'd like to fuck like a porn star but I rarely last that long or enjoy that many positions in one session.

Sorry about that whiskey dick that night long ago.

How hot Asian girls are!!!

Male

Straight

Bucknaked

nothing

around 40 percent it would be higher if we lived in a more acceptable society. no its not OK

too closed minded

I have ALWAYS used condoms. I would have sex without one. yes

its hard to define kinky, things I think are kinky people look at me like I am insane. what exactly is kinky? orgies,food, strange public places, animals? I have done a little of all of that. I wont do any type of beads.

what?? never heard of it

porn has affected me greatly.after some of the things I have you expect that your partner would be down with it also

yes doesnt everyone? I please my partner before indulging myself

no I treat everytime as if it is my last so what they got is all I had to give

sex is safer than I thought

Male

Straight

thomas

something. there's size, there's fit, there's heat, there's a lot that doesn't need love. but love can add to the x factor, and love can allow for types of sex that wouldn't exist otherwise.

its okay not to have sex, but all of life is sex and pleasur