BOOK REVIEW

By Alisa Gordaneer
5/31/00

Joy Buzzers

I thought it would be bigger. The book, I mean. After all, when the promo stuff – no, nothing requiring batteries – for Joani Blank’s newest book arrived, the buzz around the office was huge. So we sent away for Good Vibrations: The New Complete Guide to Vibrators. Who wouldn’t want more information about everyone’s favorite joy toys?

When the book arrived, no plain brown wrapper was needed. It’s a slim, sleek 96 pages, filled with basic guidance on the more pleasant uses of, ahem, personal massagers (of course, you can use your personal massager on those tired shoulders, but have you tried it a little lower down? No, lower ... Ooooh).

Written in the forthright, encouraging tone of someone who’s been selling, using and recommending vibrators for more than two decades (Blank founded San Francisco’s famed and wholesome sex-toy emporium, Good Vibrations, in 1977), this guide takes both the intimidation and the innuendo out of the topic.

It also includes a bit of history: Vibrators were first invented in the late 1800s as a medical device to cure "female troubles" (those Victorians were mighty troubled). For much of the 20th century, they were marketed with a bundle of euphemisms and lots of talk about sore muscles. The women who bought them based on the advertisements’ promises, hoping to "restore the glow of youth," quickly discovered they were good for another kind of glow as well.

And so, in this glowing manner, Blank urges readers – both male and female – to get as buzzed as she is about the joys of, well, good vibrations. If you haven’t got one stashed away in your sock drawer already, you’ll be vibrator shopping by the time you finish the book.

On the other hand (the one not holding the magic wand, that is), if you and your sock drawer are already familiar with the many interesting uses of vibrators, you won’t find much new here. Consumer Reports this ain’t. Some enterprising writer might make a bundle on a little companion piece that includes a model-by-model comparison.

One thing’s guaranteed, though: At the very least, it’s a feel-good read.

Alisa Gordaneer is Metro Times features editor.