Fictional snip and tuck

Papa's got a brand-new bod.

by Alisa Gordaneer
5/17/00

They have become their own objects of desire.

Chick for a Day

edited by Fiona Giles
Simon & Schuster, $18, 256pp.

We’ve all heard the old adage about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, but most of us tend to forget it when we’re out trying on those snazzy new sling-backs. Or that skirt that would look great with them, and I have just the purse – oh, right. This is a book review, not a fashion gush.

Good thing there are still a few good men out there who can set us straight on what women are thinking. Or women who aren’t really women. Or men who are women, but only for 24 hours, and only in the context of a short story or poem.

Chick for a Day is a compendium of what-ifs, created by editor Fiona Giles as a companion piece to her previous anthology, Dick for a Day (writings by women asked to imagine themselves so endowed). It’s only fair to let the guys have a turn at deciding what happens when the shoe (size 6, 4-inch heels) is on the other foot.

Perhaps it’s not surprising that throughout this group of several dozen short stories and poems, there’s a pronounced focus on physicality – as in, hey, dude, I’ve got my own set of ta-tas and I can do whatever I like with them! The thrill of waking up and finding, instead of the usual hard-on, a soft, mysterious and alluring vagina is irresistible to many of these writers. They have become their own objects of desire, and they celebrate owning that which they covet and crave but can never completely possess.

Few, upon discovering their new equipment, can resist taking it for a test drive.

The stories don’t have a lot of examples of men experiencing sudden drops in their bank balances (equal pay for equal work is still a myth, and apparently these writers chose not to tilt at that problem with their pens, when much more fun could be had) or changes in their concerns (safety? childcare? housework? Ah, but these are everyone’s concerns, are they not?). Nope, the focus is more on the body than the politic, so we’re gonna have to go along for the ride here.

And what a ride it is. Some (such as "The Mangina" by Jonathan Ames) are frankly hilarious; others (such as Ian Kerkhof’s "Sometimes It Ain’t Easy Being a Gal," which opens with a description of a brutal rape) are deeply disturbing.

Fortunately, Giles’ editorial sensibilities keep most of the bitchfests and PMS stereotypes at bay, and the literary quality high. Rick Moody’s "Ineluctable Modality of the Vaginal," once you get through the pseudoacademic meta-buzzwords that pepper the story, is a powerful exploration of a failing romance. And pieces such as Bruce Bauman’s "The Newly Born Man" are genuinely touching. In Bauman’s story, the narrator gains a new appreciation of his wife by living through one of her many miscarriages. In a similar theme, Bernard Cohen’s "Go With the Flow" has the narrator giving birth to, of course, a baby girl.

To envision oneself as inhabiting – or birthing – the other gender is to transform the mind, if only for the duration of a short story (or 24 hours, as the anthology’s call for submissions specified). And yet, this collection probably won’t make waves, likely won’t rock the world beyond perhaps a few women’s studies classes and other such forums where gender politics get more than a passing glance or a whistle when they wear a tight skirt.

That’s unfortunate, because (imagine the unthinkable: it becomes a bestseller; it gets on Oprah’s list; it turns into a miniseries) this kind of transformative thinking has the potential to open up a stunning male-female dialogue.

Maybe men can’t really understand women. But if the authors showcased in this book are any example, it’s clear that when they try, and when they wear those pretty shoes with just the right outfits, they can almost get pretty close.

Alisa Gordaneer, MT features editor, is now and always has been female.