VIDEO GAME REVIEW

Vacation from hell

It should be easy to determine just how horrendous the gameplay of Blue Stinger is from just the tag line on the package: "Survive the terror of Dinosaur Island," the back cover warns. More appropriately, it should read, "If you can survive playing this game for more than a few hours, you might as well be a giant pickle."

Even the basic storyline is a bit too surreal to accept. More than 65 million years ago, a giant asteroid struck Earth, killing all of the dinosaurs and leaving only an island floating in the middle of a vast sea. Then after an earthquake, only the exact center of that land mass still remained above sea level – basically, the doughnut hole – which happened to be the exact size of the massive space rock that forced the dinosaurs into extinction. For shits and giggles, a few brainless scientists decide to locate a research facility on "Dinosaur Island," just before another asteroid comes screaming toward the same locale.

With a refreshing set-up like this, how could anything be wrong with the game? But it gets better. Rescue specialist Eliot Ballade, who had wanted nothing more than a relaxing vacation, is called in to deal with the mutant zombies the asteroid has, of course, left in its wake – a literal vacation from hell.

But wandering through the desolate facility proves more difficult than sunbathing. Solving irritating puzzles and collecting an endless array of items are the game’s main objectives – all of which distract from the action. Rest assured, though, trigger-happy gamers do have a fair chance to decapitate the enemy – though the 22 varied weapons (with very limited ammunition, mind you) can’t distract from Blue Stinger’s gameplay flaws. The only potent – and a negative potency at that – elements of this Dreamcast title are the poor cinematic sequences and the ever-annoying, increasingly wearing effect that weak dialogue has on the brain.

Jon M. Gibson writes about video games for Metro Times.