WEBSITE REVIEW

Insider trading

Talk about an idea whose time has come. As the Internet continues to provide countless avenues for pop culture junkies to act out their armchair-critic fantasies, enterprising capitalists have come along and given dorky addicts (myself included) a virtual reality spot to flex their savvy and increase imaginary bank accounts. Both Hollywood Stock Exchange (which offers a thorough, integrated stock exchange trading in shares of Hollywood stars, script options, directors and the like) and Popex (which puts dozens of Brit-pop bands on the trading block) are diabolical propositions. Not to be a wet blanket or anything, but both of these sites prey on the general public’s apathy regarding all things business, political and social. Surfers, instead, expend their valuable time and energy tracking down minutiae regarding pop culture figures, absorbing the carefully placed advertising, and ignoring the fact that the folks generating revenue off of their spare time are redirecting the cash into fattening their own, real-life bank accounts.

But that’s a version of an old, old story that began with the leisure industry itself.

Thing is, neither of these sites is much fun. Sure, Hollywood Stock Exchange has all the bells and whistles of a real stock exchange Web site – which makes it that much more absorbing and thorough. And Popex has the air of indie exclusivity – a sort of surreal community of inbred music dorks (not unlike myself, of course) – that makes it feel like a clubhouse. But, on the whole – and despite the fact that both have generated huge amounts of traffic and publicity – they’re boring as shit.

Save your money and invest in Microsoft, cash in and then, and only then, should you afford yourself the kind of precious wasted time necessary to indulge in such mindless trivia. Or better yet, click on your "Games & Entertainment" icon, scroll down to Solitaire and watch the productive hours fly by.

Chris Handyside is Metro Times music editor.